I picked up her hand. "Hey Jae." Sunlight streamed through the window above the bed, illuminating the room. I was glad she had her own room. I could bring her little things and other people wouldn't give me weird looks. Like the solitary dark red rose I'd placed at her bedside.
I don't know why I was doing this alone. I guess I needed some alone time with her.
Even though I was really alone with myself.
I interlaced my fingers with hers. It calmed me, I guess, to hear my own voice, thinking that one day, maybe, she would talk back. Until that day came, I'd still wait.
"It's February, Jae, and you know what means," I said, plugging the earphones into the iPod I'd brought. I flicked the hold button and turned on the iPod. "It's Valentine's Day! Can you believe that it's been 2 years since we met?" Geez, has it only been 2 years? Felt longer than that. I placed a hand on her hair. It was still soft, still shiny. "It's been almost 2 months, Jae. Wake up soon, okay? When you do, I'll be here waiting. I love you." I turned back to the iPod. "This is for you. It's from our new album that's coming out next month. This is specially for you, no one knows this song yet." I gently plugged the earphones into her ear and pressed the play button.
"It's called Neorago, It's You," I said. I leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead before getting up to leave. HyunJae was outside the door when I opened it. She reached forward and gave me a hug.
"I know this is hard, DongHae," she said, her voice muffled.
"It's hard for you too, Hyun," I said, my voice catching. I'd promised myself I wouldn't cry. I was a terrible promiser.
"But I'm not the one working my butt off for the new album. You look so tired." She let go and scrutinized me. "You and Hyuk have lost so much weight."
I ran a hand over my face. "Don't worry, Hyun, it's just that we're really nervous about the new album. It's... different."
"I know, Hyuk let me hear a song. You guys have really grown up huh?"
"Don't tell me it was Hyukkie who gave you that song."
"Umm, yeah."
I was going to have to silence that boy. He didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.
"I'm fine, Hyun. Really."
She still looked worried, but she didn't say anything. "Hae, she's going to get better, right?" she asked suddenly.
"Yes," I said firmly. "It's that thought that's keeping me alive now, Hyun."
"Don't say that, Hae!"
"I've got to go. Call me, or at least Hyukkie, if anything happens."
"Take care, Hae."
---
"I think I'm getting pre-album release jitters," said HeeChul, pulling a face.
"But you're hardly in the album, hyung," I said cheekily.
"Sit down and shut up, Lee DongHae," said KangIn angrily.
"Sorry, I was just trying to lighten the atmosphere," I said, bowing. "Seriously. I'm really nervous too."
"Is JaeHwa getting better, hyung?" asked RyeoWook in a small voice.
"Apart from that time when her finger twitched, nothing," I said. I tried to keep my tone light. I didn't like them worrying so much when they were already so stressed.
"She'll get better Hae," said Teukie hyung confidently. "You're not giving up are you?"
"He's still here hyung, so he's definitely not giving up," said Hyuk, slinging an arm around me. "But even though he's been looking more like a man lately, he hasn't really been acting like it," he added, ruffling my hair. I had to admit, I kinda liked it short like this but maybe I'd try it long soon to see what I looked like.
"Yeah, well, you still look like a monkey," I retorted, and the others laughed.
Any day now.
Please make it soon.
HyunJae
I don't know how long I can keep this up.
This... false me.
Not that it's THAT false, I'm still myself, but I'm not acting in a way that I should be...
My best friend's in a coma. And I'm... acting happy.
Just what is the matter with me?
It's already the end of February. The boys have been as busy as ever, with the new album releasing any day now.
I haven't heard Hyuk's voice for a long time.
It's as lonely as ever.
I sighed as I sat down next to Jae.
"Hey Jae, it's me. Again. I know, you're probably wondering why I keep wandering into your room like this, why I'm not in uni right this minute, why I keep talking to myself." I sighed again. "Well, it's Saturday and there aren't any classes today, and I miss you."
I noticed her finger twitch a little, but according to the doctor that was normal. Just reflexes. But at least it meant that she was still alive.
"We all miss you, DongHae especially. He looks so serious these days, he's really worried. And he keeps saying that if you died... then there's no reason for him to live."
Another finger twitch.
"I hope you can hear me. I hope that all this seeps through the fog in your brain and somehow you can understand me. It's terribly lonely without you. It's like when you moved to Japan all over again. Only then we could at least talk online."
Silence.
"It's going to be my birthday soon, Jae. 12th of March, remember? I don't want anything this year. I just want you to respond to me, Jae. To wake up and laugh and smile and... be Jae. I just want you back. That's all I'm asking for."
I didn't notice her eyelids moving.
"Please Jae? Look, DongHae left you another flower. He saw your parents the other day. He was all set to confess to them that he was in love with you, but he decided that he'd do that when you wake up. So wake up soon, okay, so you won't have to hide from your parents anymore. So you can be with DongHae again."
Her eyelids fluttered. But I was too busy staring down at her hand. Her fingers curled, then relaxed. She took such a deep breath that her body lifted slightly off the bed. Her hand clenched again. I looked at her face. And found her staring up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes.
"DOCTOR!" I screamed, jumping out of my chair and running out of the room.
JunSu
"Hyun, I can't hear you or understand you!" I yelled into the phone.
HyunJae had called me just a few seconds ago, but I was busy playing WOW (
"Talk slowly!"
Again, incoherent yelling.
"HyunJae! Take a deep breath..."
Silence at the end of the line.
"Good, now tell me what the hell is going on."
"Just... get here now. JaeHwa needs you."
She hung up.
Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit.
DongHae
I ran into the hospital, Hyukkie hot on my heels. Behind him was KyuHyun, who really wasn't as fast as us even with his giraffe-long legs.
I dodged people and ignored the nurse. I'd even forgotten to cover my head, but I doubt anyone would recognize me, not when I was now a human tornado.
We raced up the stairs, and I heard Kyu puffing behind us. "Come on, Kyu!" I encouraged him. "We're almost there!"
I turned the corner and immediately saw HyunJae and JunSu standing in the deserted corridor.
"DongHae!"Hyun said, different emotions reflecting across her face at once. She gave me a quick hug and then ran to Hyuk. JunSu was speechless.
"Hyun, what's going on?" asked Hyukkie, breathless. Kyu slumped into one of the chairs, breathing hard.
"I feel like I've run a marathon," he groaned.
"Well, think about the people who you ran over. You definitely lost the hurdles Kyu," I teased. I turned back to HyunJae. "Where's JaeHwa? What happened?"
"She's opened her eyes, DongHae," said HyunJae, turning to me, her eyes bright.
I sank down into the chair next to Kyu. I felt overwhelmed. I couldn't breath, but that was probably because I'd just run up 5 flights of stairs.
"Hae, are you okay?" asked Hyuk, hugging me.
"I can't believe it," I said happily. "She's back!" It suddenly hit me. JaeHwa was awake. Soon I'd be with her again. And this time nothing would keep me from her. "She's back!" I yelled again, punching the air, a goofy grin on my face.
EunHyuk
This has got to be the happiest day of my life. I can't wait to see JaeHwa again. I'd missed her. And DongHae was different when she wasn't... around. I could see he was trying to be normal, not to stress any of us out because we were already so stressed, but I knew he was hurting inside.
So I did little things for him. I'm not sure he knew it was me. Just small insignificant things, like playing video games with him and eating with him and generally making sure I was there for him. I also made sure he put his clothes into the wash. The boy just threw his clothes everywhere, and SungMinnie couldn't be bothered asking him to chuck them in the washing machine anymore. I always put a glass of water next to his bed when he finally fell asleep, because I knew that he could never really sleep. He'd always wake up in the night.
I'm just happy that he's happy again.
That he can laugh and I won't be seeing the burden in his smile anymore.
I know, I probably sound gay, but DongHae... I won't deny that I love the guy.
"HyunJae!" someone called out. We all turned as JaeHwa's parents rounded the corner. Oh crap. I think that Hyunnie forgot that they were just as involved as we were, and more.
"Ah, HyunJae sshi, the doctor called us, how is JaeHwa?" asked JaeHwa's mum, looking ecstatic.
"I don't know ahjumma, the doctor hasn't come out yet," Hyunnie replied, giving me a quick-get-out-of-here look.
I grabbed Kyu's arm and was about to leave (hoping that Hae would follow us) when JaeHwa's dad decided to say something about the familiar looking strangers loitering around the corridor.
"I feel like I've seen you guys before," he said, looking skeptically between Hae and I. "In fact, you were here as well when JaeHwa was first admitted."
I was about to make something up on the spot when Hae stepped forward. He was about the same height of JaeHwa's dad. "I think there's something you need to know," he said gently.
Kyu, Hyun and I exchanged horrified glances. Hell no. The idiot wouldn't do this now.
"Hae!" I hissed, staring wide eyed at him. JaeHwa's parents glanced at me but turned back to DongHae. You could tell they had kind of guessed what he was going to say.
"Well, what is it?" asked JaeHwa's dad.
DongHae opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He cleared his throat and swallowed. He took a deep breath.
God DongHae, you are really stupid sometimes.
"Ahjusshi, Ahjumma, I... I'm in love with your daughter."
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