"Dramatic much, Teukie hyung?" remarked HeeChul, who was hanging around the corridor with KangIn. "Hello, JaeHwa!" He smiled, then glanced at HyunJae. "Umm, sorry about that just now..." he apologized. "It was the... shock."
"Hello HeeChul oppa," I said, giving him a small hug. To be totally honest, I found HeeChul a bit scary and weird sometimes, but oh well, who cared. KangIn hugged me too.
"We'll be going back out soon, so don't get too comfortable," he warned me, as LeeTeuk pulled me down the corridor. Even though I'd already seen them, we still knocked on every Super Junior door (because they took up almost the entire corridor) so I could get my hugs. There was one room he pulled me straight past, and I had a feeling that it was DongHae's.
"Don't want to go there, it'll be awkward," he said, reading my thoughts. "KiBum isn't here, so there's actually an equal number of people in a room, for once."
"Who are you rooming with, oppa?" I asked.
"DongHae," he replied with a slight smile. "So there really isn't any need to go into that room, since I'm with you."
"Hmm, yeah, I guess."
LeeTeuk gave me a card to the room next to his. "This is where you're staying, with HyunJae sshi," he said. "It's just pure coincidence you're next to DongHae, I hope you don't mind?"
"Oh, no, it's no problem, really," I said, taking the card. "Can I tell you something, LeeTeuk oppa?"
"Of course! You can tell me anything."
"The only reason I'm really here is to... be with DongHae," I said, toying with the card in my hands.
"Aah," replied LeeTeuk, pressing his lips together. "Well Jae-"
"But," I added, and he stopped talking. "I'm glad I'm came, even if nothing might happen between DongHae and me. Because I got to spend time with you guys again, and that's maybe more important. I missed you guys alot."
LeeTeuk smiled slightly. "We missed you too, JaeHwa. And we'll try and make something work with DongHae. Don't worry about it."
"Umm, I don't think that's necessary, really."
He laughed. "We'll see what happens, huh?"
"LeeTeuk oppa, please don't do anything to him," I said, feeling like I shouldn't have said anything to us. He ruffled my hair.
"I did say don't worry right?" he said, then opened the door of his room. "See you in an hour, JaeHwa. Get some rest, alright? You look like you need it." The door closed. I slid the card into the door and opened it. Inside was breathtakingly beautiful. Modern, clean lines. Just the sort of style I liked. I flopped down on one of the beds, savoring the air-conditioning.
The door opened. "Wow," said HyunJae, standing in the doorway. "I could get used to traveling with Super Junior."
"You're not even traveling with them, it just so happens you're in the same country as them," I replied, not bothering to open my eyes. "But I really like this, I don't have to feel guilty about using air-conditioning because I'm not paying for it!"
"And you wouldn't personally be polluting the air?" added HyunJae, curling up on the other bed.
"That too. Because we all know that hotel air-conditioning can't be switched off." We both laughed, then lapsed into silence, thinking. Well, I was thinking. I don't know about HyunJae, she had no worries in the world anymore. EunHyuk had gotten rid of all her problems in a matter of seconds. I felt happy for her, but I still had my own problems to take care of.
"Hey, JaeHwa?"
"Hmm?"
"You know, when you kissed DongHae, did it feel like there was no one in the room but you and him?"
"Well, there WAS no one in the room but me and him," I replied.
Flashback:
And then.
And then.
And then my left arm was pulled back and I was whirled around with force and I was face to face with DongHae.
"Not until I do this," he said, and then he quickly kissed me on the lips. I didn't even have time to close my eyes or react in any way, just felt his lips rest softly on mine for a second, and then they were gone.
"And it was a totally different situation," I added softly. I still remembered the shock, the bewilderment, and then the ensuing happiness. What had happened to us?
"Yea," sighed HyunJae. "Sorry I asked."
"No, you had a perfect right to." I stared at the ceiling, reminiscing. DongHae was closer to me than he had been in a year, yet we had never been further apart. Was this all a mistake?
No, said a voice in my head. You're spending the day with all the guys that you love the best, you've made lots of mistakes in your life, and this is definitely NOT one. I smiled a little at that thought.
"JaeHwa, do you mind if I go out to meet EunHyuk at the swimming pool?" asked HyunJae tentatively.
"Why are you asking me?" I asked, smiling. "I don't own your life, you're allowed to do what you want."
"Just wondered if it make you feel bad."
"What kind of person do you think I am, HyunJae? Go...! I'm gonna take a nap, I'm exhausted."
"Haha. Considering you just had one..."
"Go away."
She got up and opened the door. "Call me if you need anything, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "Sure, I'll call you from my dreams."
She laughed and left.
I was alone. In a room right next to DongHae. I jumped lightly off the bed and pressed my ear against the wall. Silence. Maybe LeeTeuk had gone back out...?
"You know you miss her, DongHae."
That was definitely not LeeTeuk. It was... SiWon?
"And she missed you too." That was SungMin.
"And you HAVE to stop denying it." That was YeSung.
How many guys were in that room?!
Then I remembered the first time I'd eavesdropped on them. They were telling DongHae off for being with me. Now they were trying to get him with me? Ironic. I nearly burst out laughing right there and then. I was becoming very good at pressing my ear to walls/doors.
"Stop bugging him, hyung." THAT was KyuHyun. I nearly died on the spot. If I heard one more voice and it wasn't DongHae, I'd have to start calculating how big their room was. "He really doesn't need this right now."
"Thank you, KyuHyun." FINALLY. It was DongHae. But he was so quiet. So unlike him.
"Well, not really, because I'm going to be straight to the point and say that you still like her. So what are you waiting for?"
I smacked my head in frustration. KyuHyun was SO tactless sometimes.
"Whose side are you on?" said DongHae, and I could almost imagine his -.-" expression.
"My own," replied KyuHyun. There was a slight thump right next to my ear, and a squeal. Then I heard panting. It was right across me. Was someone being pinned against the wall? Someone started making high-pitched noises.
"Whose side are you on now?" demanded DongHae. KyuHyun was laughing.
"Sopt tickling him, hyung, he'll die soon, I mean look at his face," said SiWon.
"No, wait, I've to get a picture of his face!" said SungMin.
"Here, use my phone," said YeSung.
"Nooo....!" protested KyuHyun feebly.
I pulled away from the wall. Seriously, could they take anything seriously without clowning around for a moment? But at least DongHae sounded normal. Was he acting before? Or was he acting now? It was so hard to tell through a wall. I heard a low buzz of voices and pressed my ear back to the wall.
"... okay, let's go! KiBum hyung's asleep, and no-one will know it's us!" SungMin sounded excited.
"Seriously you two, do you have nothing better to do?" asked YeSung.
"Come on YeSung hyung, you know you want to relive your childhood," said DongHae, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled too. "If you had a childhood, at least."
"Have you not seen my baby pictures flying around the internet?" demanded YeSung.
"Yeah, but you might have been a 23 year old stuck in a toddler's body," said SiWon innocently. The others laughed.
"Well, sorry if I'm too mature for you people. Come on KyuHyun, let's leave the babies to their fun."
"Aww KyuHyun, don't go. I'll tickle you again."
"Umm, well, YeSung hyung is kinda right..."
"WHAT?!"
"Hyaaaa!"
"No, no...! Get off me, DongHae hyung! SungMin hyung, give me back my shoe! YeSung hyung, help!"
"I think I'll pass, KyuHyun."
"Even after I backed you up?!"
"Yeah, changed my mind, I'd rather be immature again."
"Haishh!! Aaaaargh!"
Racous laughter emitted from the room. So much for a mature conversation. After all that had happened, they were still as lovable as ever. Sigh. I knew that if I ever wanted to let them go, I wouldn't be able to.
I pulled myself away from the wall and left them to it.
---
"Alright guys, don't get lost and try not to attract too much attention," instructed KiBum, Super Juniors' manager. "See you all back here at 8, no later. And EunHyuk and ShinDong, try not to eat nothing but junk food."
"Aww KiBum hyung, that's what Japan's famous for!" argued EunHyuk.
"No, you'll get pimples. Do you want to ruin your complexion? No junk food and that's final. See you at 8."
"You make me sound like someone who cares about my looks," muttered EunHyuk. "We all get pimples every now and then."
"Aww, EunHyuk oppa, don't worry about him, you can always eat my junk food for me," said HyunJae with a devilish smile. "After all, it wouldn't be yours personally."
EunHyuk smiled. "What would I do without you, HyunJae."
"You were without her for a year, you know," said HanKyung, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well, shut up HanKyung hyung."
HanKyung looked at him quizzically. "Sorry, I'm a foreigner, I don't understand what you just said."
I laughed along with the others. HanKyung was always using that excuse. And they never had a comeback for it, no matter how many times he had used it.
"Let's go ice-skating!" said SungMin, waving his arms around excitedly.
"SungMin, it's the middle of summer," said KangIn with a -.-" expression on his face. "And in case you haven't noticed, you're wearing a t-shirt, pirate pants and slippers. I don't think they'd let you in."
"There aren't any, anyway," I said. They all turned to look at me. "Not now, anyway."
"Okay JaeHwa, it's your city now, why don't you take us around?" suggested HeeChul cheerfully, but I cringed slightly at the thought of Tokyo being 'my city.'
SiWon noticed my cringe. "He doesn't mean that you're not part of Korea anymore, but you know... you've lived here for a while."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "But it still hasn't sunk in that I'm really living here."
"Well... where do you think we should go?" asked RyeoWook in a small voice, breaking the silence.
I smiled. "Do you guys feel like seeing some weird fashion?" I asked. "It's pretty weird, but I think you'll like it. And we can take pictures."
I was met with a chorus of "Oooh", "Hmmm", and "Let's go!"
"Are there any good restaurants?" asked ShinDong.
"Is that all you care about?!" exclaimed HeeChul, wide eyed.
"Don't worry ShinDong oppa, there are some pretty good roadside stalls. And I know a really good okonomiyaki shop."
"Okay, let's go!" said LeeTeuk, being the leader as usual, making the decisions for them.
We caught the shinkansen to Harajuku.
---
"Good night everyone. And I mean it, go to sleep." LeeTeuk entered his room and closed the door. DongHae hadn't been with him. Not before, not after. Where was he? Ah, never mind, not like he wasn't allowed to be somewhere around the hotel. I went into my room and pulled out my pajamas. HyunJae was in the shower.
"Hey, HyunJae," I called out, knocking on the door.
"Yeah?" She yelled back over the sound of falling water.
"I'm going for a walk, don't wait up for me."
"Alright, don't get lost."
I took the lift downstairs and made my way to the outdoor swimming pool. It was 9pm and dark. But I liked it. A cool breeze blew through my hair, and I didn't feel so warm anymore. This was my favourite part of the day. When we first arrived I used to sit up at the window and let the wind blow into my room, cooling it down after a hot day. I'd also drop everything from my mind, just letting the wind blow it away.
But I couldn't let it blow away tonight.
There was someone sitting on the ground, back to me, facing the city. The swimming pool was on the 5th floor, and the barrier was quite low and made of glass, so the city lights were visible. It was really pretty. And it definitely wasn't a place to bring children. I stood away from the "barrier" because I had a fear of falling off balconies and buildings. I mean, I was such a klutz, anything could happen.
My hair was blowing over my face because the wind was coming from behind me, but I let it. As long as I could just watch the lights, nothing else mattered.
Until, at least, I sneaked a peek at the figure in front of me.
I could see that he was quite good-looking, even though his fringe and hair were blowing into his face like mine. I smiled to myself, then turned back to the lights. Then I did a double take.
It was DongHae.
He was sitting with his knees up to his chest, head resting on his knees. He looked so vulnerable and lonely that I felt like going up to him and giving him a hug. But I knew that I'd never do that. Not ever.
He must have felt my presence there at that moment, or maybe he felt my eyes boring into the side of his face, because he turned to look at me, and his mouth dropped open a little in shock. He staggered to his feet, pulling himself up by the barrier. He looked like he was going to fall over the stupid so-called barrier, and I nearly screamed out in terror. But he stood there, looking at me, and I looked back.
An eternity passed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," I said, then bowed lightly before taking a step backward and turning around.
"...JaeHwa, wait," said DongHae, and I felt him catch hold of my elbow. I turned to face him, shocked, and was aware that my face was a teeny bit closer to his than before.
"Do you remember the last time you caught hold of me like this?" I suddenly asked him, prising his fingers free. "You kissed me after that. You kissed me when you knew that I was leaving. When you knew you were going to break it off after that." I stepped backward so that there was some breathing space between us.
"I know," said DongHae. He reached out and managed to grab hold of my hand as I was turning to run.
"Let go of me, DongHae!" I said, tears stinging my eyes. I tried to shake myself free, but he was too strong. "You've let go of me once, you can do it again! In fact, you're still disconnected from me, and that's what you wanted."
"Listen to me JaeHwa!" said DongHae, holding my arms so I couldn't struggle. He looked around, then pulled me to the side of the building, hidden in shrubbery. He pinned me against the wall. I stared at him defiantly. Why was I acting like this? I still wanted him, so why was I acting like I didn't? What's wong with you, stupid?! My heart yelled at my brain.
"Why are you doing this, DongHae?" I asked pathetically.
"Because I love you, JaeHwa. I loved you from the moment I met you, when I gave you that concussion. When you came to visit KyuHyun on the night of the accident. When you went into the hospital because of me. When you said you were leaving." His breath was ragged. He was shaking a little, and he dropped his head.
"But you still said goodbye," I whispered, trying to make sense of it all. I hadn't expected a confession. But then again, what was I expecting?
"I thought it make it hurt a little less. I thought it might be easier for you to forget me, for me to forget you." He raised his head and stared into my eyes. "But you know what? I've never stopped loving you. And when EunHyuk did what he did in the Nippon Budokan, I knew that I had to do something. I'm the outgoing one, but he still did that. And I admire him for that."
"Is that why you have me pinned to a wall, surrounded with trees and flowers and nothing but a low glass barrier separating you and me from falling to our deaths to the city below?" I asked. I was shaking too, but I was genuinely scared. Because I knew that if he slipped, he would fall and nothing would save him.
"Are you scared?" whispered DongHae. I nodded. He enveloped me in his arms, and clung to me tightly. I closed my eyes, my head resting on his shoulder. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this when I saw you in the Nippon Budokan," he murmured in my ear.
There was a swinging seat near us. He pulled me there and sat me down. "You're treating me like a child," I said, pouting. He sat down next to me and touched my face. I stopped pouting.
"Give me a chance, I've only got tonight and tomorrow with you," he said, pushing back a strand of stray hair from my face. I felt my heart melting.
"Yea, and then it's goodbye again," I said, looking away.
He gently pulled my face around to face him. "But we're talking about now, when tomorrow comes, it comes."
I stayed silent.
"Meanwhile, all I want to do now is this," he said, his hand at the back of my neck. My heart started beating like crazy. When was the last time it had beaten like this? Was it really a year ago? I moved my head a little closer to his. He smiled slightly. We were so close now. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I felt his lips on mine. They were soft, undemanding, like a butterfly resting.
I had one hand behind his head, and another on his back. He had both arms wrapped around my waist. I was smiling at the same time, this was the best moment in my entire life. He was really gentle, nothing too aggressive or forceful, and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I also felt like my insides were melting.
Was it possible to float and melt at the same time?
"What is this strange hold you have on me, Lee JaeHwa," he murmured, lips still pressed against mine.
"You know you love me Lee DongHae," I replied, smiling.
"Yeah," he said. "I do."
30.10.09
28.10.09
It's You Chapter 22
The door opened. HyunJae and I turned around from our place on the couch to face him. YunHo stuck his head in. "Ready? They're coming now. They've managed to disengage themselves from their ever-so-adoring fans, haha." His head disappeared. "Okay, guys. There's someone waiting for you inside." I heard him say.
"Ooh, is it a surprise?" I heard RyeoWook say. Even after a year I still recognized his voice. I would have smiled if I wasn't so nervous.
"Wait, is it SooMan hyung?" YeSung asked.
"You wish, JongWoon," I heard someone say. It sounded like EunHyuk, but it might have been SiWon. It was hard to distinguish through the wall. "We all know you'd love to spend some quality time with him." Okay, definitely EunHyuk.
"Shut up, HyukJae," said YeSung, calling EunHyuk by his real name. "As if you don't spend enough time with JunSu... I wonder what you two get up to." Of course he meant Kim JunSu, from DBSK, or better known as Xiah here in Japan. EunHyuk laughed.
"Hey, Hyukkie's mine, so no talking about our pretty little JunSu in front of me," said DongHae. The others laughed but I felt myself stiffen at the sound of his voice so close.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," I said to HyunJae.
"Too late now, isn't it? Back out now and you would've wasted 5 hours of my precious vacation time," she declared. "And I will NOT forgive you for that." I laughed.
"Okay okay, not that there's any way to escape from this room."
"Unless you want to run over them, which would be pretty hard."
While we were laughing, the door opened.
I didn't even hear it.
"Hey, it's not SooMan hyung!" said a voice behind me. I stopped laughing. HyunJae stopped too. We looked at each guiltily. We were completely frozen.
"Unless SooMan hyung grew his hair long and morphed into two girls," said DongHae, laughing. "Hello, you two. You're in our dressing room, if you haven't noticed."
"Actually, they're here on my, uhh, orders," interjected YunHo quickly. "They'll be spending today, tonight and tomorrow with you guys. An unknown competition, but don't worry, it's completely legal."
"Cool!" said SungMin.
"Surprised?" asked YunHo.
HyunJae and I still had our backs to them, breathing hard, watching each other through identical wide eyes. I could see the fear written on my face through her pupils.
"Very," said a new voice. KyuHyun. Oh God, KyuHyun. I'd missed him so much... and I'd promised to keep in touch with him. I felt really bad now. I wanted to get out of here.
"Why don't you turn around so we can see your faces?" suggested SungMin.
A hand - maybe SiWon's or HanKyung's - landed on HyunJae's shoulder and she whirled around in shock, her ponytail hitting me in the face. It took all of my willpower not to laugh or yell at her. Silence settled over us as they stared at HyunJae's face. I glanced at her face. She looked like she'd been caught stealing something. This time I couldn't hold it in.
I burst out laughing, then bent over and put my head on my knees, racked with silent laughter. I was shaking. My hands were over my face, but no one could see it anyway, with my hair hanging all over the place.
The guys gave awkward chuckles, but I could tell that they were still staring at HyunJae. They'd really only seen her once, they probably found her familiar yet unfamiliar. Except, of course, DongHae, EunHyuk and SiWon. Out of the corner of my eye I saw HyunJae turn back around, her face red. I lifted my head, but was still bent over, my side aching.
EunHyuk jumped over the couch and slid down on the ground, so he was in front of HyunJae. DongHae and SiWon seemed frozen, staying behind the couch with the others, who were clearly wondering what the heck was going on.
"HyunJae...?" whispered EunHyuk, his face close to hers. She looked away. He grabbed her hands and made her face him. "Is that really you?" She held his gaze then slowly nodded. She seemed speechless. "What the heck are you doing here?" he said quietly. I knew that I was the only one who could hear him.
HyunJae smiled faintly. "Well, I'm not stalking you, if that's what you think. It was just... a coincidence."
"Well, fate seems to be on our side," he said softly. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." HyunJae seemed dumbfounded. Suddenly EunHyuk leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the lips. I gasped, and so did several of the others. I couldn't help it.
"EunHyuk!" exclaimed LeeTeuk, looking around for anyone who might see. Luckily for them, YunHo had left on some hidden agenda of his own.
But HyunJae was smiling. "What an un-romantic time to give me a kiss, Lee HyukJae," she said.
"Sorry, but I can't hold it in anymore. You're here, I'm here, it's perfect to me."
"What the heck are you two doing?!" yelled HeeChul. "Sorry, but who the heck are you?!" he said, staring at HyunJae with a crazed look on his face. It was kinda scary seeing HeeChul like that in person (I'd seen him act like that on Super Junior Full House) but it was funny as well. Only I didn't feel like laughing.
"HyunJae, what are you doing?!" I exclaimed. I didn't mean to, but I was so extremely surprised that I couldn't keep it in. "You're in public!" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw KyuHyun, DongHae and SungMin start at the sound of my voice. A hand landed on my shoulder.
At the same time, the door opened again.
I turned around and found myself staring into KyuHyun's shocked face. Everyone gasped and moved a bit closer to us, trying to catch a glimpse of my face.
"JaeH-!" started SungMin, but SiWon quickly clapped a hand over his mouth as YunHo entered the room. They were all staring at me, and even HeeChul stopped yelling at EunHyuk to turn his alread bulging eyes at me. They looked in danger of falling out.
"Alright guys, you're allowed to leave now!"announced YunHo cheerfully, oblivious to the tense silence. "The crowds have scattered and your manager's waiting for you. JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi, you'll be riding with KyuHyun sshi, SungMin sshi and EunHyuk sshi. Is that fine with you?"
"Of course! We don't mind riding with anyone, really," I replied steadily. We started filing out slowly. SungMin and KyuHyun sandwiched me, KyuHyun glancing at me every now and then as if not believing that I was really there and SungMin squeezing my arm every now and then. I started smiling.
Until we passed DongHae.
My smile fell a bit when I caught sight of him.
Our eyes met for a second, then I glanced away.
I knew that he was still staring after me though.
---
SungMin wouldn't let go of me in the car. "I can't believe you're here, HwaHwa, I've missed you sooo much!" he said, clinging tightly to me.
"Let go, SungMin, you're going to suffocate the poor girl," said KyuHyun, laughing. I couldn't stop smiling. And when I caught sight of KyuHyun staring at me, I gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, just a friendly one.
"I'm so sorry I didn't stay in touch with you," I said, looking away. "It's just that..."
"That's alright JaeHwa, I totally understand," he told me, patting my head. "And by the way, you're perfectly entitled to call us 'oppa' when we're not with strangers. Understand?"
I nodded. "Okay... KyuHyun oppa."
He laughed at that.
"How come KyuHyun gets a kiss and I don't?" complained SungMin, pouting. He was just so adorable...! Something identical to love swelled inside my chest as I laughed. I really loved these guys, I had been so stupid to leave them in silence.
"Aww, I'm so sorry SungMin oppa! Here, I'll give you one now," I said, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled and blushed a little.
"What are you people doing behind there huh?" asked EunHyuk as he was driving. HyunJae was sitting up front with him, and every now and then he squeezed her hand.
"Don't worry about us, we won't disturb your privacy," said KyuHyun teasingly.
"JaeHwa, what are you doing with them huh?" asked HyunJae, turning her head around to face me. I could see that she was a little red, but she looked so ecstatic that I felt happy for her.
"I give them a peck on the cheek and I get hit for it? Hello, EunHyuk's the one who should be getting the most hits," I told her, winking to show that I didn't mean it. "I mean, I'd kiss you EunHyuk, but HyunJae might get jealous and cameras are everywhere."
"I totally understand," said EunHyuk, smiling and glancing at HyunJae. She looked down and toyed with her shirt, but I could see her blushing and smiling.
"You guys are so adorable," remarked KyuHyun. "But she doesn't know what you get up to with DongHae hyung...?" He leaned forward and rested his head on HyunJae's seat, looking at EunHyuk innocently.
EunHyuk turned to KyuHyun, giving him a shut-up-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you-glare and mouthing "Do you wanna die?"
KyuHyun sank back, smiling. He winked at me.
"Take a picture with me!" I said, pulling my camera out of my sling bag. SungMin looked extremely pleased. He loved taking pictures of himself. Well, I couldn't blame him, if I looked as cute as him I would love taking pictures of myself too.
We spent the rest of the car ride back to the hotel taking funny pictures of each other. We even managed to get one of EunHyuk with his sunglasses on while driving, looking like a secret agent. It was fun.
"Here we are...!" announced EunHyuk as we drove up to the ANA InterContinental Tokyo.
"Wow, pretty high class aren't you guys?" I remarked. 'This is like one of the best hotels in Tokyo."
"We don't choose the place," replied SungMin. "The place chooses us. Well, our manager chooses it as well, but yeah." He added after a slight pause. "We just stay here, no fuss, not that any fuss is needed anyway," he concluded cheerfully.
"I totally agree with you on the no-fuss policy," said HyunJae. EunHyuk stopped the car and some attendants opened the door for us. KyuHyun eased his long legs out of the car and helped me out (though I really didn't need it). All of us entered the foyer, where the rest of the group were waiting except for HeeChul and EunHyuk, who were parking the car. Their manager wasn't there either.
"Damn, I hate being out here in public, I can't even give you a hug," said LeeTeuk, sticking out his bottom lip.
"Never mind Teukie hyung, we'll be upstairs soon, then you can hug her all you want," said KangIn, snickering. He cast a look at DongHae. "If DongHae lets you, that is."
Well, he obviously had no idea about what had happened. Sometimes KangIn could be really... oblivious to the world. Sigh. I saw SiWon hit himself on the forehead and YeSung scratching his head while shaking it. RyeoWook hung his head, looking at his feet.
"Don't worry Teukie hyung, you really don't need my permission," said DongHae quietly. I looked up and saw that he was right in front of me. His gaze was boring into mine. "JaeHwa sshi doesn't need permission from me. Not anymore anyway." Then he turned and walked to the lift with their manager and HeeChul, who'd just got back from parking the car.
A silence descended over us again. I stared after DongHae. I didn't know whether to feel angry or not. Why did he keep denying that he still liked me?
We started making our way after them. There were too many of us, so HyunJae, YeSung, EunHyuk, LeeTeuk and I were left to take the only remaining lift.
A hand rested on my shoulder. "Don't worry, he's just feeling overwhelmed right now." I turned and found EunHyuk and YeSung behind me. It was EunHyuk who had spoken and YeSung who had his hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah, I mean, you really gave us a surprise back there, you know?" explained YeSung. "And it was pretty awkward, especially with this dude doing what he did." He raised an eyebrow at EunHyuk, who grinned back sheepishly. "We weren't very sure whether to be surprised at EunHyuk or at you being there. So it's kind of a weird situation right now."
"Hey, I didn't ask you to watch me," protested EunHyuk.
"Yeah, well, you were right in the middle of the room, we couldn't help it," said YeSung. He turned back to me. "Anyway, DongHae was really quiet in the car, so don't be too hard on him, right? He usually voices himself out, so him being quiet is something you have to take seriously, it means he's feeling a lot of different emotions right now."
I nodded. "Yeah, I know... well, I think I do... but why is he...."
"Aww, YeSung hyung, you sound like one of our song lyrics," remarked EunHyuk, grinning. YeSung put a -.-" expression on his face and bent his head, smacking his forehead at the same time.
"He's been a bit down since you left, but you probably don't see that part of him in music videos and our self-cams. We're all like that, there are some parts of us that we don't show to the public," said LeeTeuk, with a slight smile at YeSung's reaction. "You noticed?"
"Umm, actually..." I started, but HyunJae cut in.
"We haven't watched any videos with you hyungs in it apart the one where HyukJae oppa filmed DongHae sleeping," she explained. "We really haven't been, uhh, following you hyungs anymore." She looked slightly embarassed. "Sorry," she added.
EunHyuk draped his arms around her as we entered the lift. "Don't worry, I think I understand why," he told her. She smiled back at him. "And there were some really bad hair days of mine in some of the videos," he added, laughing.
"I remember filming DongHae sleeping," said YeSung suddenly. "He called out your name, JaeHwa. I remember we had to cover up really quickly so the fans wouldn't suspect anything."
"Oh yea," muttered EunHyuk. "What did you do after you watched it?" he asked me.
"We called the radio station, entered a contest and won two tickets to hang out with you," I replied. LeeTeuk scratched his head.
"Well, that sounds like a pretty reasonable reaction... I think," he said. YeSung suddenly started laughing so hard that he fell to the ground. We looked at him, then at each other with quizzical expressions. EunHyuk shrugged, pulling a he's-crazy-face.
"Why do I feel like we're not going anywhere?" asked LeeTeuk, mystified.
"Because... we're.... not...." gasped a voice from the floor. I looked back down at YeSung. Tears were running down his face. Man, that boy could laugh. I started giggling too.
"Oh," said EunHyuk, realisation dawning on his face. He reached out and pressed a button on the panel, then laughed too. "Man, we talk too much sometimes." Soon we were all chuckling over our moment of absent-mindedness.
"Hey YeSung hyung, when they ask why your eyes are red, can I say it's because you've realised that you can't be without KangIn for 5 minutes?" asked EunHyuk. YeSung tilted his head to one side and gave him a blank expression. It looked really creepy, paired with his black emo-ish hair and earring. EunHyuk pulled a scared face. "I guess if I do, you'd haunt me in my dreams, huh?"
YeSung nodded. Slowly. It was starting to give me the creeps.
"YeSung oppa, you're scaring the hell out of me," I said. YeSung reverted back to his normal face, then gave me a light hug
"Don't worry, JaeHwa, that face is reserved especially for EunHyuk, no one else," he said.
"Damn," said EunHyuk. "Gives me the creeps too."
"Well good, don't expect a hug from me."
The lift stopped.
"Right, your home for the next two days!" said LeeTeuk happily, pulling me out of the lift.
"Ooh, is it a surprise?" I heard RyeoWook say. Even after a year I still recognized his voice. I would have smiled if I wasn't so nervous.
"Wait, is it SooMan hyung?" YeSung asked.
"You wish, JongWoon," I heard someone say. It sounded like EunHyuk, but it might have been SiWon. It was hard to distinguish through the wall. "We all know you'd love to spend some quality time with him." Okay, definitely EunHyuk.
"Shut up, HyukJae," said YeSung, calling EunHyuk by his real name. "As if you don't spend enough time with JunSu... I wonder what you two get up to." Of course he meant Kim JunSu, from DBSK, or better known as Xiah here in Japan. EunHyuk laughed.
"Hey, Hyukkie's mine, so no talking about our pretty little JunSu in front of me," said DongHae. The others laughed but I felt myself stiffen at the sound of his voice so close.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," I said to HyunJae.
"Too late now, isn't it? Back out now and you would've wasted 5 hours of my precious vacation time," she declared. "And I will NOT forgive you for that." I laughed.
"Okay okay, not that there's any way to escape from this room."
"Unless you want to run over them, which would be pretty hard."
While we were laughing, the door opened.
I didn't even hear it.
"Hey, it's not SooMan hyung!" said a voice behind me. I stopped laughing. HyunJae stopped too. We looked at each guiltily. We were completely frozen.
"Unless SooMan hyung grew his hair long and morphed into two girls," said DongHae, laughing. "Hello, you two. You're in our dressing room, if you haven't noticed."
"Actually, they're here on my, uhh, orders," interjected YunHo quickly. "They'll be spending today, tonight and tomorrow with you guys. An unknown competition, but don't worry, it's completely legal."
"Cool!" said SungMin.
"Surprised?" asked YunHo.
HyunJae and I still had our backs to them, breathing hard, watching each other through identical wide eyes. I could see the fear written on my face through her pupils.
"Very," said a new voice. KyuHyun. Oh God, KyuHyun. I'd missed him so much... and I'd promised to keep in touch with him. I felt really bad now. I wanted to get out of here.
"Why don't you turn around so we can see your faces?" suggested SungMin.
A hand - maybe SiWon's or HanKyung's - landed on HyunJae's shoulder and she whirled around in shock, her ponytail hitting me in the face. It took all of my willpower not to laugh or yell at her. Silence settled over us as they stared at HyunJae's face. I glanced at her face. She looked like she'd been caught stealing something. This time I couldn't hold it in.
I burst out laughing, then bent over and put my head on my knees, racked with silent laughter. I was shaking. My hands were over my face, but no one could see it anyway, with my hair hanging all over the place.
The guys gave awkward chuckles, but I could tell that they were still staring at HyunJae. They'd really only seen her once, they probably found her familiar yet unfamiliar. Except, of course, DongHae, EunHyuk and SiWon. Out of the corner of my eye I saw HyunJae turn back around, her face red. I lifted my head, but was still bent over, my side aching.
EunHyuk jumped over the couch and slid down on the ground, so he was in front of HyunJae. DongHae and SiWon seemed frozen, staying behind the couch with the others, who were clearly wondering what the heck was going on.
"HyunJae...?" whispered EunHyuk, his face close to hers. She looked away. He grabbed her hands and made her face him. "Is that really you?" She held his gaze then slowly nodded. She seemed speechless. "What the heck are you doing here?" he said quietly. I knew that I was the only one who could hear him.
HyunJae smiled faintly. "Well, I'm not stalking you, if that's what you think. It was just... a coincidence."
"Well, fate seems to be on our side," he said softly. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." HyunJae seemed dumbfounded. Suddenly EunHyuk leaned forward and kissed her quickly on the lips. I gasped, and so did several of the others. I couldn't help it.
"EunHyuk!" exclaimed LeeTeuk, looking around for anyone who might see. Luckily for them, YunHo had left on some hidden agenda of his own.
But HyunJae was smiling. "What an un-romantic time to give me a kiss, Lee HyukJae," she said.
"Sorry, but I can't hold it in anymore. You're here, I'm here, it's perfect to me."
"What the heck are you two doing?!" yelled HeeChul. "Sorry, but who the heck are you?!" he said, staring at HyunJae with a crazed look on his face. It was kinda scary seeing HeeChul like that in person (I'd seen him act like that on Super Junior Full House) but it was funny as well. Only I didn't feel like laughing.
"HyunJae, what are you doing?!" I exclaimed. I didn't mean to, but I was so extremely surprised that I couldn't keep it in. "You're in public!" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw KyuHyun, DongHae and SungMin start at the sound of my voice. A hand landed on my shoulder.
At the same time, the door opened again.
I turned around and found myself staring into KyuHyun's shocked face. Everyone gasped and moved a bit closer to us, trying to catch a glimpse of my face.
"JaeH-!" started SungMin, but SiWon quickly clapped a hand over his mouth as YunHo entered the room. They were all staring at me, and even HeeChul stopped yelling at EunHyuk to turn his alread bulging eyes at me. They looked in danger of falling out.
"Alright guys, you're allowed to leave now!"announced YunHo cheerfully, oblivious to the tense silence. "The crowds have scattered and your manager's waiting for you. JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi, you'll be riding with KyuHyun sshi, SungMin sshi and EunHyuk sshi. Is that fine with you?"
"Of course! We don't mind riding with anyone, really," I replied steadily. We started filing out slowly. SungMin and KyuHyun sandwiched me, KyuHyun glancing at me every now and then as if not believing that I was really there and SungMin squeezing my arm every now and then. I started smiling.
Until we passed DongHae.
My smile fell a bit when I caught sight of him.
Our eyes met for a second, then I glanced away.
I knew that he was still staring after me though.
---
SungMin wouldn't let go of me in the car. "I can't believe you're here, HwaHwa, I've missed you sooo much!" he said, clinging tightly to me.
"Let go, SungMin, you're going to suffocate the poor girl," said KyuHyun, laughing. I couldn't stop smiling. And when I caught sight of KyuHyun staring at me, I gave him a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, just a friendly one.
"I'm so sorry I didn't stay in touch with you," I said, looking away. "It's just that..."
"That's alright JaeHwa, I totally understand," he told me, patting my head. "And by the way, you're perfectly entitled to call us 'oppa' when we're not with strangers. Understand?"
I nodded. "Okay... KyuHyun oppa."
He laughed at that.
"How come KyuHyun gets a kiss and I don't?" complained SungMin, pouting. He was just so adorable...! Something identical to love swelled inside my chest as I laughed. I really loved these guys, I had been so stupid to leave them in silence.
"Aww, I'm so sorry SungMin oppa! Here, I'll give you one now," I said, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled and blushed a little.
"What are you people doing behind there huh?" asked EunHyuk as he was driving. HyunJae was sitting up front with him, and every now and then he squeezed her hand.
"Don't worry about us, we won't disturb your privacy," said KyuHyun teasingly.
"JaeHwa, what are you doing with them huh?" asked HyunJae, turning her head around to face me. I could see that she was a little red, but she looked so ecstatic that I felt happy for her.
"I give them a peck on the cheek and I get hit for it? Hello, EunHyuk's the one who should be getting the most hits," I told her, winking to show that I didn't mean it. "I mean, I'd kiss you EunHyuk, but HyunJae might get jealous and cameras are everywhere."
"I totally understand," said EunHyuk, smiling and glancing at HyunJae. She looked down and toyed with her shirt, but I could see her blushing and smiling.
"You guys are so adorable," remarked KyuHyun. "But she doesn't know what you get up to with DongHae hyung...?" He leaned forward and rested his head on HyunJae's seat, looking at EunHyuk innocently.
EunHyuk turned to KyuHyun, giving him a shut-up-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you-glare and mouthing "Do you wanna die?"
KyuHyun sank back, smiling. He winked at me.
"Take a picture with me!" I said, pulling my camera out of my sling bag. SungMin looked extremely pleased. He loved taking pictures of himself. Well, I couldn't blame him, if I looked as cute as him I would love taking pictures of myself too.
We spent the rest of the car ride back to the hotel taking funny pictures of each other. We even managed to get one of EunHyuk with his sunglasses on while driving, looking like a secret agent. It was fun.
"Here we are...!" announced EunHyuk as we drove up to the ANA InterContinental Tokyo.
"Wow, pretty high class aren't you guys?" I remarked. 'This is like one of the best hotels in Tokyo."
"We don't choose the place," replied SungMin. "The place chooses us. Well, our manager chooses it as well, but yeah." He added after a slight pause. "We just stay here, no fuss, not that any fuss is needed anyway," he concluded cheerfully.
"I totally agree with you on the no-fuss policy," said HyunJae. EunHyuk stopped the car and some attendants opened the door for us. KyuHyun eased his long legs out of the car and helped me out (though I really didn't need it). All of us entered the foyer, where the rest of the group were waiting except for HeeChul and EunHyuk, who were parking the car. Their manager wasn't there either.
"Damn, I hate being out here in public, I can't even give you a hug," said LeeTeuk, sticking out his bottom lip.
"Never mind Teukie hyung, we'll be upstairs soon, then you can hug her all you want," said KangIn, snickering. He cast a look at DongHae. "If DongHae lets you, that is."
Well, he obviously had no idea about what had happened. Sometimes KangIn could be really... oblivious to the world. Sigh. I saw SiWon hit himself on the forehead and YeSung scratching his head while shaking it. RyeoWook hung his head, looking at his feet.
"Don't worry Teukie hyung, you really don't need my permission," said DongHae quietly. I looked up and saw that he was right in front of me. His gaze was boring into mine. "JaeHwa sshi doesn't need permission from me. Not anymore anyway." Then he turned and walked to the lift with their manager and HeeChul, who'd just got back from parking the car.
A silence descended over us again. I stared after DongHae. I didn't know whether to feel angry or not. Why did he keep denying that he still liked me?
We started making our way after them. There were too many of us, so HyunJae, YeSung, EunHyuk, LeeTeuk and I were left to take the only remaining lift.
A hand rested on my shoulder. "Don't worry, he's just feeling overwhelmed right now." I turned and found EunHyuk and YeSung behind me. It was EunHyuk who had spoken and YeSung who had his hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah, I mean, you really gave us a surprise back there, you know?" explained YeSung. "And it was pretty awkward, especially with this dude doing what he did." He raised an eyebrow at EunHyuk, who grinned back sheepishly. "We weren't very sure whether to be surprised at EunHyuk or at you being there. So it's kind of a weird situation right now."
"Hey, I didn't ask you to watch me," protested EunHyuk.
"Yeah, well, you were right in the middle of the room, we couldn't help it," said YeSung. He turned back to me. "Anyway, DongHae was really quiet in the car, so don't be too hard on him, right? He usually voices himself out, so him being quiet is something you have to take seriously, it means he's feeling a lot of different emotions right now."
I nodded. "Yeah, I know... well, I think I do... but why is he...."
"Aww, YeSung hyung, you sound like one of our song lyrics," remarked EunHyuk, grinning. YeSung put a -.-" expression on his face and bent his head, smacking his forehead at the same time.
"He's been a bit down since you left, but you probably don't see that part of him in music videos and our self-cams. We're all like that, there are some parts of us that we don't show to the public," said LeeTeuk, with a slight smile at YeSung's reaction. "You noticed?"
"Umm, actually..." I started, but HyunJae cut in.
"We haven't watched any videos with you hyungs in it apart the one where HyukJae oppa filmed DongHae sleeping," she explained. "We really haven't been, uhh, following you hyungs anymore." She looked slightly embarassed. "Sorry," she added.
EunHyuk draped his arms around her as we entered the lift. "Don't worry, I think I understand why," he told her. She smiled back at him. "And there were some really bad hair days of mine in some of the videos," he added, laughing.
"I remember filming DongHae sleeping," said YeSung suddenly. "He called out your name, JaeHwa. I remember we had to cover up really quickly so the fans wouldn't suspect anything."
"Oh yea," muttered EunHyuk. "What did you do after you watched it?" he asked me.
"We called the radio station, entered a contest and won two tickets to hang out with you," I replied. LeeTeuk scratched his head.
"Well, that sounds like a pretty reasonable reaction... I think," he said. YeSung suddenly started laughing so hard that he fell to the ground. We looked at him, then at each other with quizzical expressions. EunHyuk shrugged, pulling a he's-crazy-face.
"Why do I feel like we're not going anywhere?" asked LeeTeuk, mystified.
"Because... we're.... not...." gasped a voice from the floor. I looked back down at YeSung. Tears were running down his face. Man, that boy could laugh. I started giggling too.
"Oh," said EunHyuk, realisation dawning on his face. He reached out and pressed a button on the panel, then laughed too. "Man, we talk too much sometimes." Soon we were all chuckling over our moment of absent-mindedness.
"Hey YeSung hyung, when they ask why your eyes are red, can I say it's because you've realised that you can't be without KangIn for 5 minutes?" asked EunHyuk. YeSung tilted his head to one side and gave him a blank expression. It looked really creepy, paired with his black emo-ish hair and earring. EunHyuk pulled a scared face. "I guess if I do, you'd haunt me in my dreams, huh?"
YeSung nodded. Slowly. It was starting to give me the creeps.
"YeSung oppa, you're scaring the hell out of me," I said. YeSung reverted back to his normal face, then gave me a light hug
"Don't worry, JaeHwa, that face is reserved especially for EunHyuk, no one else," he said.
"Damn," said EunHyuk. "Gives me the creeps too."
"Well good, don't expect a hug from me."
The lift stopped.
"Right, your home for the next two days!" said LeeTeuk happily, pulling me out of the lift.
26.10.09
It's You Chapter 21
"We'll see you in 2 days, right?" said my father as we got out of the car.
"Don't worry Appa," I said, laughing. "We'll still be alive when we come back."
"Just making sure. You might be die from all the screaming. Don't come back with a sore throat, alright?" He laughed as I rolled my eyes.
"Be careful, JaeHwa," said my mother. "Don't do anything stupid and make sure you're not alone with them even for a minute."
"Umma, there are 13 of them. And they're nice. They're superstars for crying out loud. And I don't think they're idiots."
"So what if there are 13? And so what if they're famous? They're still grown men and you're still an 18 year old girl. Understand?"
"Haish, okay okay. See you in 2 days!" I closed the door and they drove off.
"Gee, I never knew your parents were so funny," said HyunJae, laughing.
"You should try and live with them," I said. "It's like a circus." I sounded more relaxed than I felt. In fact, I was feeling anxiety, excitement and dread all at the same time. At least it meant that I had more of an emotional range than a teaspoon.
HyunJae looked at me. "Nervous?"
I nodded. "And I feel stupid standing out here carrying a bag. We look like lost tourists."
"Hey, it's a small bag, it's 9.30 in the morning, and we're at the back door. No one's even looking for us I bet. YunHo said 10am SHARP, you know. We're early. We can bum around for a while."
"We'll have plenty of time for that, I doubt we'd be there for the actual fan meeting. I mean, we're already meeting them face to face, we don't need to see them perform."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, let's go in, the guy at the door there is looking at us funny."
We both walked over to the guy standing in front of the doorway.
"And who are you two?" he asked.
"Umm, we're the ones who are only supposed to come at 10?" said HyunJae. I nearly laughed. What a way to describe us. I wouldn't have been surprised if the guy hadn't kicked us out right there and then.
"Right. Can I see your ID?" He held out a hand. I pulled out my card and so did HyunJae. The guy slid our cards through some machine and looked at the screen in front of him. "Okay, that's fine. Go look for YunHo. Have a good day." He handed back our cards.
"Thanks," I said, following HyunJae through the door. He nodded back at me.
"Hey, cool, this is like a real backstage concert," remarked HyunJae.
"That's because it IS a concert hall, and we ARE backstage," I told her. She laughed.
"Hey, look, there's YunHo!" she said, pulling me into a room. "Hello, YunHo sshi!" she called out. She seemed unusually bouncy, and I realized that she was nervous. She was always bouncy when she was nervous.
"Ah, JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi!" YunHo looked at his watch. "Early, are we? Never mind, it's better than being late. I'm really sorry girls, but you won't be allowed into the fan meeting. You'll have to hang around backstage for about 5 hours. Think you can last that long?"
"Oh, we kind of anticipated it," replied HyunJae. "Will we be allowed out? Or maybe like walk around looking at stuff?"
"Sure sure, anything, just don't get in the way of anyone, alright? Oh, you're not allowed in the electronics or lighting areas, but anywhere else is fine. Got that?"
"Yea. We'll just dump our bags and take a look around."
"First door to your left."
We walked out of the room and went into the room. It seemed like a lounge area, it had couches and tables everywhere. HyunJae and I dumped our bags on a couch, then went out to explore. I was already bored. When it was 10, HyunJae and I decided to go out and walk around. The guy at the door opened it for us.
"What's your name?" I asked. "So we can be properly polite to you."
The guy laughed. "You can call me KiBum. JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi right?"
"Hey, how'd you know?" asked HyunJae, sounding suspicious.
"It was on your cards, remember?" replied KiBum.
"Oh yeah... well, see you around KiBum!" I said, walking away.
"And keep up the good work!" yelled HyunJae as she followed me.
"You are so lame sometimes," I said to her.
"Hey, somebody has to tell the guy he's doing a good job."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
As we walked down the driveway, three black cars drove up. The windows were partly tinted, but I could still see the shadowy figures inside. As the first car passed us, I saw about 4 heads turn to look at us. HyunJae nudged me.
"Haha, we're turning heads, aren't we?" she asked, grinning. "We must be smoking!"
I laughed. We were both in shorts but I was in my usual sneakers and three quartered sleeve hoodie. HyunJae was in sandals and a singlet with a short shirt that could be tied up in front.
"In your dreams," I said, smiling. She grinned back at me. The second car passed us. Once again, I saw a flurry of movement as heads turned to look at us. "This feels really weird, all we're doing is standing here and they're looking at us. It's not like we're posing or anything."
"We're just naturally hot," said HyunJae, laughing.
As the last car passed us, I peered into the windows to see who was this unusually large group. I knew it couldn't be Super Junior, they'd used the front entrance the last time, they definitely wouldn't use the back this time.
For a second, this face stared back at me.
It was a face I recognized.
His eyes widened in shock and disbelief as he looked at me and he spun around in his seat to speak to the person behind him. That person poked his head over his shoulder.
I nearly keeled over in shock.
It was EunHyuk and DongHae.
In a split second, I grabbed HyunJae, whirling around, and started walking quickly down the road.
"Hey, what gives?" she protested. "I was enjoying basking in the stares!" She giggled.
"It was Super Junior in the car, EunHyuk and DongHae were in the last car!" I said, gasping a little.
"WHAT?!" HyunJae screeched, her happiness vanishing. She turned to look back at the cars and saw them in the carpark, climbing out of the car. They were... waving at us?
We both looked each other and ran.
---
We got back to the Nippon Budokan around 1pm. We spent three hours going around Tokyo, looking at the sights and hearing the sounds. There really wasn't much to do, but neither of us felt like going back so soon, even though we knew that Super Junior were entertaining the fans and were going to do so until 3pm.
"Welcome back girls," said KiBum when we walked up to him. "Guess bumming around Tokyo is better than sitting around backstage huh?"
"Haha," said HyunJae. "You could say that again. Hey, if you're bored, JaeHwa and I can take over your job for you."
He laughed. "You're a funny girl, that's good. I would let you, but I'd lose my job and you'd be banned. Nice try anyway."
"Oh well, it was worth a shot," I said, taking back my card. "Keep smiling, right?"
"Yes, and don't forget the important 'have a nice day!' to go with the big smile," he replied, giving us the all-important big smile. "2 more hours to go, you can always come and have a chat with me if you're bored."
"More like if you're bored," replied HyunJae, laughing. "How old are you anyway? You look our age!"
"Well, more or less, I'm 20. Just a uni student who needed a part time job, you know, tall, scary-looking, always ready to kick people off the stage." He laughed. "And thanks to your cards, I know that you're both 18."
"Hmm, maybe we should never throw the cards away," I said.
"Yeah, maybe. Anyway, get inside before the card refuses to let you go through. See you later!"
HyunJae pushed me through the open door. "He's nice," she remarked.
"Yeah, and hilarious," I added, when suddenly laughter filled the air. I thought that there was a major party going on in one of the rooms, then realised that it was actually coming from the stage.
"ShinDong hwaiting! YeSung hwaiting! SiWon hwaiting!" the crowd started chanting. More laughter.
"God, they sound like they're high on helium," said HyunJae as we made our way to the room where our bags were.
"What's going on out there?" I asked one of the girls in Japanese, who was wearing an official tag.
"They're playing games, we'll be done in a couple of hours, they've just gone back out after a short break. Who are you two anyway?" she added.
I told her. She nodded. "Yeah, I heard YunHo-san talking about it. In fact, Super Junior have no idea about it, or about you. It'll be a complete surprise." She tipped her head to one side. "You two don't look like the screaming sort of fans like those out there," she said.
"Yeah, not really into that sort of thing," I replied. I was surprised that I was managing to keep this conversation going. I'd always stumbled during Japanese oral.
"Good," she said. "They don't particularly love the screaming sort. Anyway, I've got to run, nice meeting you." She walked off.
"And what just happened?" asked HyunJae, grabbing my shoulder. "I had no idea you were fluent in Japanese."
"Tell you the truth, neither did I." I told her what was going on and what the official had said.
"Playing games? Is the audience playing with them? Haish, this is going to be so boring." She flopped down on the couch and pulled out her music player from her bag. "Might as well utilize this thing," she said, plugging in. I stretched out on the other couch and pulled out the book that I was reading. "Evidently still into reading," said HyunJae, playing air guitar.
"And you're still playing air guitar," I shot back. She shot a quizzical look at me and pulled out an earphone.
'What?" she asked.
"Never mind," I said, giving her a -.-" expression. She shrugged and plugged back in. I went back to my book, and got lost in the story.
---
Lightning flashes. Thunder growls, threateningly. I call out, to someone, anyone, but the words are blown away as soon as they leave my mouth. The storm has moved fast. It's over me now. I start running, somewhere, anywhere, desperate for shelter. Hands are reaching down from the clouds, swooping at me, trying to grab me and drag me into the darkness.
You'll never get me alive, I think. I grit my teeth.
There it is!
A shining beacon of hope against the darkness surrounding me.
I rush into the apparently empty warehouse, closing the door behind me. The storm rages outside, battering on the walls, trying to get in and claim me for it's own. Ignore it, ignore it. "Hello?" I call out. Silence. I'm alone with my own voice. I settles down against a large beam, waiting for the storm to pass.
A small breeze blows behind me.
I turn around in fear, because I was sure that there were no holes in the windows or cracks in the walls.
"DongHae?!"
He smiled at me, that special smile that was reserved only for me. "Hey you," he said.
All of a sudden the back of the warehouse was ripped open. The wind swirled through the building, and I swear that everything in there grew wings and started flying at me and DongHae. He flew at me too and knocked me to the ground, protecting me from the objects.
"Hey...!" I protested.
"Just like the first time I met you, huh?" he said, smiling again, but before I could reply, he was suddenly pulled backwards by an invisible force. "Hey, what gives?!" he yelled. He stretched out his hands towards me and I caught them, but the wind was stronger than me.
"Don't let go DongHae!" I said, as the wind pulled both him and me backwards. But he only smiled at me, a sad smile this time.
"It's okay, JaeHwa, so long as I've seen you one last time, I can die happy." His feet were lifting off the ground. His hands were slipping out of mine.
"No!" I yelled. "I won't let go!" I was fighting back tears.
"Annyeong, Jaehwa. Saranghaeyo." His hands flew out of mine, and I watched him flying into the clouds.
"No....!" I yelled. "DongHae! Are you leaving me again?! DONGHAE!"
---
"JaeHwa!" someone called. Someone was shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes with a start, staring into the face of my best friend. Where the heck was I?
"H-hyunJae...?" I said, bewildered. I sat up, shaking my head. I spied my book on the floor. "Oh, did I fall asleep...?"
"Yeah. You were thrashing around like crazy and screaming out NO! Did you have some sort of nightmare?"
"You could say that," I said, trying to remember my dream, but it had completely flown out of my head. "I can't remember it now though."
"Oh well, that's too bad," said HyunJae. At that moment, YunHo entered the room.
"Hello ladies! Did you have fun?" He grinned. I could hear cheers and screams from the stage speakers. "And they're done! They'll be coming in soon. Hey JaeHwa sshi, you look like you just woke up. Why don't you two go refresh yourselves?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, and we made our way to bathroom.
"Just a moment more," said HyunJae, sounding nervous. "Can't wait for their reactions."
"Yeah," I muttered. "Can't wait."
"Don't worry Appa," I said, laughing. "We'll still be alive when we come back."
"Just making sure. You might be die from all the screaming. Don't come back with a sore throat, alright?" He laughed as I rolled my eyes.
"Be careful, JaeHwa," said my mother. "Don't do anything stupid and make sure you're not alone with them even for a minute."
"Umma, there are 13 of them. And they're nice. They're superstars for crying out loud. And I don't think they're idiots."
"So what if there are 13? And so what if they're famous? They're still grown men and you're still an 18 year old girl. Understand?"
"Haish, okay okay. See you in 2 days!" I closed the door and they drove off.
"Gee, I never knew your parents were so funny," said HyunJae, laughing.
"You should try and live with them," I said. "It's like a circus." I sounded more relaxed than I felt. In fact, I was feeling anxiety, excitement and dread all at the same time. At least it meant that I had more of an emotional range than a teaspoon.
HyunJae looked at me. "Nervous?"
I nodded. "And I feel stupid standing out here carrying a bag. We look like lost tourists."
"Hey, it's a small bag, it's 9.30 in the morning, and we're at the back door. No one's even looking for us I bet. YunHo said 10am SHARP, you know. We're early. We can bum around for a while."
"We'll have plenty of time for that, I doubt we'd be there for the actual fan meeting. I mean, we're already meeting them face to face, we don't need to see them perform."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. Anyway, let's go in, the guy at the door there is looking at us funny."
We both walked over to the guy standing in front of the doorway.
"And who are you two?" he asked.
"Umm, we're the ones who are only supposed to come at 10?" said HyunJae. I nearly laughed. What a way to describe us. I wouldn't have been surprised if the guy hadn't kicked us out right there and then.
"Right. Can I see your ID?" He held out a hand. I pulled out my card and so did HyunJae. The guy slid our cards through some machine and looked at the screen in front of him. "Okay, that's fine. Go look for YunHo. Have a good day." He handed back our cards.
"Thanks," I said, following HyunJae through the door. He nodded back at me.
"Hey, cool, this is like a real backstage concert," remarked HyunJae.
"That's because it IS a concert hall, and we ARE backstage," I told her. She laughed.
"Hey, look, there's YunHo!" she said, pulling me into a room. "Hello, YunHo sshi!" she called out. She seemed unusually bouncy, and I realized that she was nervous. She was always bouncy when she was nervous.
"Ah, JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi!" YunHo looked at his watch. "Early, are we? Never mind, it's better than being late. I'm really sorry girls, but you won't be allowed into the fan meeting. You'll have to hang around backstage for about 5 hours. Think you can last that long?"
"Oh, we kind of anticipated it," replied HyunJae. "Will we be allowed out? Or maybe like walk around looking at stuff?"
"Sure sure, anything, just don't get in the way of anyone, alright? Oh, you're not allowed in the electronics or lighting areas, but anywhere else is fine. Got that?"
"Yea. We'll just dump our bags and take a look around."
"First door to your left."
We walked out of the room and went into the room. It seemed like a lounge area, it had couches and tables everywhere. HyunJae and I dumped our bags on a couch, then went out to explore. I was already bored. When it was 10, HyunJae and I decided to go out and walk around. The guy at the door opened it for us.
"What's your name?" I asked. "So we can be properly polite to you."
The guy laughed. "You can call me KiBum. JaeHwa sshi and HyunJae sshi right?"
"Hey, how'd you know?" asked HyunJae, sounding suspicious.
"It was on your cards, remember?" replied KiBum.
"Oh yeah... well, see you around KiBum!" I said, walking away.
"And keep up the good work!" yelled HyunJae as she followed me.
"You are so lame sometimes," I said to her.
"Hey, somebody has to tell the guy he's doing a good job."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."
As we walked down the driveway, three black cars drove up. The windows were partly tinted, but I could still see the shadowy figures inside. As the first car passed us, I saw about 4 heads turn to look at us. HyunJae nudged me.
"Haha, we're turning heads, aren't we?" she asked, grinning. "We must be smoking!"
I laughed. We were both in shorts but I was in my usual sneakers and three quartered sleeve hoodie. HyunJae was in sandals and a singlet with a short shirt that could be tied up in front.
"In your dreams," I said, smiling. She grinned back at me. The second car passed us. Once again, I saw a flurry of movement as heads turned to look at us. "This feels really weird, all we're doing is standing here and they're looking at us. It's not like we're posing or anything."
"We're just naturally hot," said HyunJae, laughing.
As the last car passed us, I peered into the windows to see who was this unusually large group. I knew it couldn't be Super Junior, they'd used the front entrance the last time, they definitely wouldn't use the back this time.
For a second, this face stared back at me.
It was a face I recognized.
His eyes widened in shock and disbelief as he looked at me and he spun around in his seat to speak to the person behind him. That person poked his head over his shoulder.
I nearly keeled over in shock.
It was EunHyuk and DongHae.
In a split second, I grabbed HyunJae, whirling around, and started walking quickly down the road.
"Hey, what gives?" she protested. "I was enjoying basking in the stares!" She giggled.
"It was Super Junior in the car, EunHyuk and DongHae were in the last car!" I said, gasping a little.
"WHAT?!" HyunJae screeched, her happiness vanishing. She turned to look back at the cars and saw them in the carpark, climbing out of the car. They were... waving at us?
We both looked each other and ran.
---
We got back to the Nippon Budokan around 1pm. We spent three hours going around Tokyo, looking at the sights and hearing the sounds. There really wasn't much to do, but neither of us felt like going back so soon, even though we knew that Super Junior were entertaining the fans and were going to do so until 3pm.
"Welcome back girls," said KiBum when we walked up to him. "Guess bumming around Tokyo is better than sitting around backstage huh?"
"Haha," said HyunJae. "You could say that again. Hey, if you're bored, JaeHwa and I can take over your job for you."
He laughed. "You're a funny girl, that's good. I would let you, but I'd lose my job and you'd be banned. Nice try anyway."
"Oh well, it was worth a shot," I said, taking back my card. "Keep smiling, right?"
"Yes, and don't forget the important 'have a nice day!' to go with the big smile," he replied, giving us the all-important big smile. "2 more hours to go, you can always come and have a chat with me if you're bored."
"More like if you're bored," replied HyunJae, laughing. "How old are you anyway? You look our age!"
"Well, more or less, I'm 20. Just a uni student who needed a part time job, you know, tall, scary-looking, always ready to kick people off the stage." He laughed. "And thanks to your cards, I know that you're both 18."
"Hmm, maybe we should never throw the cards away," I said.
"Yeah, maybe. Anyway, get inside before the card refuses to let you go through. See you later!"
HyunJae pushed me through the open door. "He's nice," she remarked.
"Yeah, and hilarious," I added, when suddenly laughter filled the air. I thought that there was a major party going on in one of the rooms, then realised that it was actually coming from the stage.
"ShinDong hwaiting! YeSung hwaiting! SiWon hwaiting!" the crowd started chanting. More laughter.
"God, they sound like they're high on helium," said HyunJae as we made our way to the room where our bags were.
"What's going on out there?" I asked one of the girls in Japanese, who was wearing an official tag.
"They're playing games, we'll be done in a couple of hours, they've just gone back out after a short break. Who are you two anyway?" she added.
I told her. She nodded. "Yeah, I heard YunHo-san talking about it. In fact, Super Junior have no idea about it, or about you. It'll be a complete surprise." She tipped her head to one side. "You two don't look like the screaming sort of fans like those out there," she said.
"Yeah, not really into that sort of thing," I replied. I was surprised that I was managing to keep this conversation going. I'd always stumbled during Japanese oral.
"Good," she said. "They don't particularly love the screaming sort. Anyway, I've got to run, nice meeting you." She walked off.
"And what just happened?" asked HyunJae, grabbing my shoulder. "I had no idea you were fluent in Japanese."
"Tell you the truth, neither did I." I told her what was going on and what the official had said.
"Playing games? Is the audience playing with them? Haish, this is going to be so boring." She flopped down on the couch and pulled out her music player from her bag. "Might as well utilize this thing," she said, plugging in. I stretched out on the other couch and pulled out the book that I was reading. "Evidently still into reading," said HyunJae, playing air guitar.
"And you're still playing air guitar," I shot back. She shot a quizzical look at me and pulled out an earphone.
'What?" she asked.
"Never mind," I said, giving her a -.-" expression. She shrugged and plugged back in. I went back to my book, and got lost in the story.
---
Lightning flashes. Thunder growls, threateningly. I call out, to someone, anyone, but the words are blown away as soon as they leave my mouth. The storm has moved fast. It's over me now. I start running, somewhere, anywhere, desperate for shelter. Hands are reaching down from the clouds, swooping at me, trying to grab me and drag me into the darkness.
You'll never get me alive, I think. I grit my teeth.
There it is!
A shining beacon of hope against the darkness surrounding me.
I rush into the apparently empty warehouse, closing the door behind me. The storm rages outside, battering on the walls, trying to get in and claim me for it's own. Ignore it, ignore it. "Hello?" I call out. Silence. I'm alone with my own voice. I settles down against a large beam, waiting for the storm to pass.
A small breeze blows behind me.
I turn around in fear, because I was sure that there were no holes in the windows or cracks in the walls.
"DongHae?!"
He smiled at me, that special smile that was reserved only for me. "Hey you," he said.
All of a sudden the back of the warehouse was ripped open. The wind swirled through the building, and I swear that everything in there grew wings and started flying at me and DongHae. He flew at me too and knocked me to the ground, protecting me from the objects.
"Hey...!" I protested.
"Just like the first time I met you, huh?" he said, smiling again, but before I could reply, he was suddenly pulled backwards by an invisible force. "Hey, what gives?!" he yelled. He stretched out his hands towards me and I caught them, but the wind was stronger than me.
"Don't let go DongHae!" I said, as the wind pulled both him and me backwards. But he only smiled at me, a sad smile this time.
"It's okay, JaeHwa, so long as I've seen you one last time, I can die happy." His feet were lifting off the ground. His hands were slipping out of mine.
"No!" I yelled. "I won't let go!" I was fighting back tears.
"Annyeong, Jaehwa. Saranghaeyo." His hands flew out of mine, and I watched him flying into the clouds.
"No....!" I yelled. "DongHae! Are you leaving me again?! DONGHAE!"
---
"JaeHwa!" someone called. Someone was shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes with a start, staring into the face of my best friend. Where the heck was I?
"H-hyunJae...?" I said, bewildered. I sat up, shaking my head. I spied my book on the floor. "Oh, did I fall asleep...?"
"Yeah. You were thrashing around like crazy and screaming out NO! Did you have some sort of nightmare?"
"You could say that," I said, trying to remember my dream, but it had completely flown out of my head. "I can't remember it now though."
"Oh well, that's too bad," said HyunJae. At that moment, YunHo entered the room.
"Hello ladies! Did you have fun?" He grinned. I could hear cheers and screams from the stage speakers. "And they're done! They'll be coming in soon. Hey JaeHwa sshi, you look like you just woke up. Why don't you two go refresh yourselves?"
"Yeah, sure," I said, and we made our way to bathroom.
"Just a moment more," said HyunJae, sounding nervous. "Can't wait for their reactions."
"Yeah," I muttered. "Can't wait."
25.10.09
It's You Chapter 20
"Right then, here we go!" said the DJ. "You'll have 30 seconds to answer a question. There are 3 questions. Start the clock!"
HyunJae stretched her fingers and cracked her knuckles, ready to type in the question on the search engine. I fought down an urge to laugh. I wondered if the DJ's knew how people won quizzes sometimes.
"Alright, question number 1! Among all the members, which person is easiest to cry?"
I knew that one. After all, I'd dealt first hand with him.
"DongHae - !" I said, nearly adding 'sshi' at the end of it, but luckily catching myself just in time.
"Correct!" said the Dj. I nearly screamed out loud. "Now, question number 2! According to ShinDong and HeeChul, who is scariest when angry?"
I thought about that one. HyunJae was quickly typing out the question. "Umm..." I said, trying to stall.
"You have 10 seconds left, JaeHwa," chided the Dj.
I looked at HyunJae. She had nothing. "Um... HanKyung!" I said. Come to think of it, he was pretty scary when he got angry.
"Oh, JaeHwa sshi...' said the DJ. I held my breath. "I'm sorry, but you're..... CORRECT!"
I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated it when people did that, but at least I'd gotten it right!
"Here comes your last question...! Are you ready for this?"
"Yes I am!" I sounded unusually confident. Maybe I thought that if fate wanted me to meet with DongHae again, it would help me with this.
"There are now 4 Super Junior sub-groups. Can you name them all and the two members who are caused a controversy with ELF's?"
HyunJae was scribbling on a piece of paper. I thought back to whatever little news I had read about them.
"Super Junior K.R.Y, Super Junior T, Super Junior Happy and Super Junior M!" I said. No idea where the words came from. I'd read about them being formed, but not detail. In fact, I hadn't even listened to their songs before. I didn't even know which person belonged to which group.
"Good! Now for the two other members? You have 10 seconds left!"
I turned to HyunJae, panicking. She held up a piece of paper. In big letters it said "ZHOU MI" and underneath that was "HENRY." Then it said "SUPER JUNIOR - M."
"Zhou Mi and Henry from Super Junior M!" I said, feeling like my heart were going to burst out of my chest. There was silence from the other side. I felt devastated. Was I wrong?
"JaeHwa sshi," said the DJ. "Do you know what?"
"What?" I said, already feeling downcast.
"You... WON 2 PASSES TO STAY 2 NIGHTS AND A DAY WITH SUPER JUNIOR IN TOKYO!!!" she suddenly yelled, and that set me off. I felt something like the old Super Junior fan-girl in me awakening. I felt excited.
"Congratulations JaeHwa sshi....!" said the DJ, and I could hear her own excitement. I wondered how DJ's felt when they had to give away tickets and couldn't get them for themselves. How sad....
Suddenly I was on the phone with someone totally different, a male. "Lucky girl," he said. "Now, you'll be free tomorrow to come and pick up the passes? Please bring the person you want to take with you as we need identification. The passes are customized and require some detail."
"I'll be there," I said. "Who do I go to?"
"You'll come to me," said the man. "Just ask for Jung YunHo."
"Alright."
He hung up. I slowly turned to HyunJae. Her eyes were gleaming.
"Hey JaeHwa," she said. "Guess what?"
"What?"
"YOU'RE GOING TO SEE DONGHAE AGAIN!!!!" she screamed, jumping off the bed and hugging me. We both jumped up and down, squealing. "I feel like a Super Junior fan again!" she admitted when we had calmed down a bit.
"You know what, so do I!" I exclaimed, whirling around the room. I was exhilarated. "Oh shit, what's the date today?"
"Uhh, the sixth. Why?" asked HyunJae.
"They're coming in 2 days," I said. For a moment I felt disorientated. What was I going to do now? I had the passes, I was going to spend two days and a night with DongHae. So what now?
"I need new clothes!" said HyunJae suddenly. "My clothes are so crappy!"
I laughed. I needed an excuse to. "Don't worry, I don't think EunHyuk would care about what you're wearing when he sees you," I teased. She looked up at me.
"Shit," she said. "I forgot about seeing EunHyuk again."
---
"Here are your passes," said YunHo, handing me two card thingies. "They have all your details inside, as well as permissions and whatnot."
"Wow, almost like a credit card huh?" said HyunJae, taking her card from me. It had a photo of her and her signature on the back. I'd never seen passes like this before. I mean, weren't they usually made of paper and slung around our necks?
"You could say that," said YunHo with a hint of a smile. "Never handled a credit card before, now have you?"
"Nope," replied HyunJae. "This would be a lovely experience for me."
YunHo laughed. "Now, just remember that there are some restrictions, but not much. You're to go wherever Super Junior goes, and do the same things that they're doing. You'll be meeting them on the 9th, the last day of their fan-meeting, so that they can relax the next day. Be at the Nippon Budokan at Get it?"
"Yes, we do. Thank you so much for this," I said, meaning it.
"Well, somebody was going to have to get it anyway," he replied. "It just happened that it's you."
"She's always been lucky," said HyunJae, squeezing my shoulder.
"I'll say. Listen you two, duty calls, but if you need any help just call this number." He handed me a card. "And congratulations again."
"And thank you!" I called after him we left the room. In the lift, HyunJae pushed the card into her wallet.
"I'll never lose this for as long as I live," she remarked. "I actually look good in that photo."
"Haha," I said, rolling my eyes. "As if you don't look good in every photo."
"Hey, look who's talking. You're really pretty now, you know," she retorted.
"Yeah, and you're a penguin." I never took compliments seriously. I knew that they were just words, they weren't necessarily true.
"Whatever," said HyunJae. "But DongHae's going to die when he sees you." Her face turned evil. "Let's go get you some sexy lingerie huh?"
"You're sick!" I said, hitting her. She laughed and said she was joking, even she wouldn't do that to herself.
"But seriously, I need some new tops. Mine are just disgusting," she said. "Where's a good place to shop?"
I took her to the shopping mall nearest to my house and we spent about an hour there, trying on kinky clothes and making each other laugh. In the end even I bought a new t-shirt, because it had an adorable fish on the front.
It was only after I had bought it did I remember that Fishy was DongHae's nickname. Damn.
---
"JaeHwa ah, isn't that the band that you're going to meet?" said my mother from her seat on the couch. The TV was on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. I was trying to play 'Lies' by Big Bang on the keyboard. However, HyunJae turned at my mother's words, then hit me on the shoulder.
"Look!" she commanded. I turned around in my seat and immediately caught sight of HanKyung and ShinDong entering a building, the Nippon Budokan. They were surrounded by screaming girls who were carrying signs like "I Love Super Junior!" "Super Junior Hwaiting!" and "Super Junior forever!" I smiled slightly, remembering how I would've done that a few years ago.
Suddenly, there he was.
He had a new hairstyle, brown and with a fringe, and it looked a little longer than I remembered, but he looked thinner. Tired? I couldn't tell. But he was smiling that trademark smile, looking like he was happy.
If only the public really knew what he was feeling inside.
I felt a little shiver of excitement and dread at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.
"Not excited to see them, hah?" remarked my mother. "You girls nowadays, screaming one day and silent the next. I don't understand you sometimes."
HyunJae laughed. "We're nervous. They're a big group," she explained.
"Exactly. I'd be screaming and running all over the place if I was going to meet a 'big' band like them," replied my mother. She smiled. "If I'd met one of my favourite singers when I was your age, I would have married him right there on the spot."
"Umma, don't let Appa hear you," I said, laughing. If only she knew how close I was to making her dream come true. Okay, so I hadn't even imagined marrying DongHae, but we were almost like in a relationship.
"Eh, too late for that, I've been married for so many years and had a child, it doesn't matter anymore," she said good-naturedly. "Just be grateful you have the chance to meet them. It's too easy for kids these days, goodness me." She got up and turned off the TV. I caught a last glimpse of SungMin and LeeTeuk smiling and waving at the crowd. "I have to go out and buy some food, want to come with me? Get out of the house for a while."
"No... I want to learn this song," I said, gesturing at the sheet in front of me.
"And I need to help her," added HyunJae.
"You don't even know how to play," I said, turning to her.
"No, but you need someone to tell you whether you got the melody right," she shot back.
My mother laughed. "Alright girls, but don't trash the place, okay?" She pulled out her shopping bag and left.
"Since when did I ever trash the place anyway?" I asked HyunJae. She shrugged. "Right, let's get down to this," I said, indicating the sheet music.
"I don't know how to play remember?" She bounded over to the TV and turned it back on.
"Come on, you're already seeing them tomorrow, what do you need to look at them for now?"
"I want to see what EunHyuk looks like."
"Can't you take surprises...?"
"Nope." At that moment, the camera zoomed in on EunHyuk. "Oh ma gosh, look at his hair!! He looks so goooood," she squealed happily.
"Still the typical fangirl, I see," I said, turning back to the keyboard.
"Damn, they ALL look good," she said, as the camera went for a shot with everyone in it. "Except for ShinDong. I mean, can his hair get any bigger? HeeChul looks like something out of Lion King," she added, laughing. "Oh, KyuHyun's hair looks good on him."
I felt a bit annoyed. I mean, she was the one who wanted to stop me from getting the passes, now she couldn't stop herself. I turned back around. "Hey, quit it, I'm trying to play this thing."
"Oh fine," she said, switching off the TV and stretching out on the couch. I could see her grinning.
"Look, you didn't want me to get the passes at first, so quit being on top of the world about it."
Her face fell. "Sorry JaeHwa," she said. "I just feel... excited. You know, about seeing them again and all."
"I'm more nervous actually."
"Think they'd be shocked when they see us?"
"I think they already know we'll be there."
"Oh yeah? How much are you willing to bet?"
None I thought. I just prayed that everything would go smoothly.
HyunJae stretched her fingers and cracked her knuckles, ready to type in the question on the search engine. I fought down an urge to laugh. I wondered if the DJ's knew how people won quizzes sometimes.
"Alright, question number 1! Among all the members, which person is easiest to cry?"
I knew that one. After all, I'd dealt first hand with him.
"DongHae - !" I said, nearly adding 'sshi' at the end of it, but luckily catching myself just in time.
"Correct!" said the Dj. I nearly screamed out loud. "Now, question number 2! According to ShinDong and HeeChul, who is scariest when angry?"
I thought about that one. HyunJae was quickly typing out the question. "Umm..." I said, trying to stall.
"You have 10 seconds left, JaeHwa," chided the Dj.
I looked at HyunJae. She had nothing. "Um... HanKyung!" I said. Come to think of it, he was pretty scary when he got angry.
"Oh, JaeHwa sshi...' said the DJ. I held my breath. "I'm sorry, but you're..... CORRECT!"
I breathed a sigh of relief. I hated it when people did that, but at least I'd gotten it right!
"Here comes your last question...! Are you ready for this?"
"Yes I am!" I sounded unusually confident. Maybe I thought that if fate wanted me to meet with DongHae again, it would help me with this.
"There are now 4 Super Junior sub-groups. Can you name them all and the two members who are caused a controversy with ELF's?"
HyunJae was scribbling on a piece of paper. I thought back to whatever little news I had read about them.
"Super Junior K.R.Y, Super Junior T, Super Junior Happy and Super Junior M!" I said. No idea where the words came from. I'd read about them being formed, but not detail. In fact, I hadn't even listened to their songs before. I didn't even know which person belonged to which group.
"Good! Now for the two other members? You have 10 seconds left!"
I turned to HyunJae, panicking. She held up a piece of paper. In big letters it said "ZHOU MI" and underneath that was "HENRY." Then it said "SUPER JUNIOR - M."
"Zhou Mi and Henry from Super Junior M!" I said, feeling like my heart were going to burst out of my chest. There was silence from the other side. I felt devastated. Was I wrong?
"JaeHwa sshi," said the DJ. "Do you know what?"
"What?" I said, already feeling downcast.
"You... WON 2 PASSES TO STAY 2 NIGHTS AND A DAY WITH SUPER JUNIOR IN TOKYO!!!" she suddenly yelled, and that set me off. I felt something like the old Super Junior fan-girl in me awakening. I felt excited.
"Congratulations JaeHwa sshi....!" said the DJ, and I could hear her own excitement. I wondered how DJ's felt when they had to give away tickets and couldn't get them for themselves. How sad....
Suddenly I was on the phone with someone totally different, a male. "Lucky girl," he said. "Now, you'll be free tomorrow to come and pick up the passes? Please bring the person you want to take with you as we need identification. The passes are customized and require some detail."
"I'll be there," I said. "Who do I go to?"
"You'll come to me," said the man. "Just ask for Jung YunHo."
"Alright."
He hung up. I slowly turned to HyunJae. Her eyes were gleaming.
"Hey JaeHwa," she said. "Guess what?"
"What?"
"YOU'RE GOING TO SEE DONGHAE AGAIN!!!!" she screamed, jumping off the bed and hugging me. We both jumped up and down, squealing. "I feel like a Super Junior fan again!" she admitted when we had calmed down a bit.
"You know what, so do I!" I exclaimed, whirling around the room. I was exhilarated. "Oh shit, what's the date today?"
"Uhh, the sixth. Why?" asked HyunJae.
"They're coming in 2 days," I said. For a moment I felt disorientated. What was I going to do now? I had the passes, I was going to spend two days and a night with DongHae. So what now?
"I need new clothes!" said HyunJae suddenly. "My clothes are so crappy!"
I laughed. I needed an excuse to. "Don't worry, I don't think EunHyuk would care about what you're wearing when he sees you," I teased. She looked up at me.
"Shit," she said. "I forgot about seeing EunHyuk again."
---
"Here are your passes," said YunHo, handing me two card thingies. "They have all your details inside, as well as permissions and whatnot."
"Wow, almost like a credit card huh?" said HyunJae, taking her card from me. It had a photo of her and her signature on the back. I'd never seen passes like this before. I mean, weren't they usually made of paper and slung around our necks?
"You could say that," said YunHo with a hint of a smile. "Never handled a credit card before, now have you?"
"Nope," replied HyunJae. "This would be a lovely experience for me."
YunHo laughed. "Now, just remember that there are some restrictions, but not much. You're to go wherever Super Junior goes, and do the same things that they're doing. You'll be meeting them on the 9th, the last day of their fan-meeting, so that they can relax the next day. Be at the Nippon Budokan at Get it?"
"Yes, we do. Thank you so much for this," I said, meaning it.
"Well, somebody was going to have to get it anyway," he replied. "It just happened that it's you."
"She's always been lucky," said HyunJae, squeezing my shoulder.
"I'll say. Listen you two, duty calls, but if you need any help just call this number." He handed me a card. "And congratulations again."
"And thank you!" I called after him we left the room. In the lift, HyunJae pushed the card into her wallet.
"I'll never lose this for as long as I live," she remarked. "I actually look good in that photo."
"Haha," I said, rolling my eyes. "As if you don't look good in every photo."
"Hey, look who's talking. You're really pretty now, you know," she retorted.
"Yeah, and you're a penguin." I never took compliments seriously. I knew that they were just words, they weren't necessarily true.
"Whatever," said HyunJae. "But DongHae's going to die when he sees you." Her face turned evil. "Let's go get you some sexy lingerie huh?"
"You're sick!" I said, hitting her. She laughed and said she was joking, even she wouldn't do that to herself.
"But seriously, I need some new tops. Mine are just disgusting," she said. "Where's a good place to shop?"
I took her to the shopping mall nearest to my house and we spent about an hour there, trying on kinky clothes and making each other laugh. In the end even I bought a new t-shirt, because it had an adorable fish on the front.
It was only after I had bought it did I remember that Fishy was DongHae's nickname. Damn.
---
"JaeHwa ah, isn't that the band that you're going to meet?" said my mother from her seat on the couch. The TV was on, but I wasn't paying attention to it. I was trying to play 'Lies' by Big Bang on the keyboard. However, HyunJae turned at my mother's words, then hit me on the shoulder.
"Look!" she commanded. I turned around in my seat and immediately caught sight of HanKyung and ShinDong entering a building, the Nippon Budokan. They were surrounded by screaming girls who were carrying signs like "I Love Super Junior!" "Super Junior Hwaiting!" and "Super Junior forever!" I smiled slightly, remembering how I would've done that a few years ago.
Suddenly, there he was.
He had a new hairstyle, brown and with a fringe, and it looked a little longer than I remembered, but he looked thinner. Tired? I couldn't tell. But he was smiling that trademark smile, looking like he was happy.
If only the public really knew what he was feeling inside.
I felt a little shiver of excitement and dread at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.
"Not excited to see them, hah?" remarked my mother. "You girls nowadays, screaming one day and silent the next. I don't understand you sometimes."
HyunJae laughed. "We're nervous. They're a big group," she explained.
"Exactly. I'd be screaming and running all over the place if I was going to meet a 'big' band like them," replied my mother. She smiled. "If I'd met one of my favourite singers when I was your age, I would have married him right there on the spot."
"Umma, don't let Appa hear you," I said, laughing. If only she knew how close I was to making her dream come true. Okay, so I hadn't even imagined marrying DongHae, but we were almost like in a relationship.
"Eh, too late for that, I've been married for so many years and had a child, it doesn't matter anymore," she said good-naturedly. "Just be grateful you have the chance to meet them. It's too easy for kids these days, goodness me." She got up and turned off the TV. I caught a last glimpse of SungMin and LeeTeuk smiling and waving at the crowd. "I have to go out and buy some food, want to come with me? Get out of the house for a while."
"No... I want to learn this song," I said, gesturing at the sheet in front of me.
"And I need to help her," added HyunJae.
"You don't even know how to play," I said, turning to her.
"No, but you need someone to tell you whether you got the melody right," she shot back.
My mother laughed. "Alright girls, but don't trash the place, okay?" She pulled out her shopping bag and left.
"Since when did I ever trash the place anyway?" I asked HyunJae. She shrugged. "Right, let's get down to this," I said, indicating the sheet music.
"I don't know how to play remember?" She bounded over to the TV and turned it back on.
"Come on, you're already seeing them tomorrow, what do you need to look at them for now?"
"I want to see what EunHyuk looks like."
"Can't you take surprises...?"
"Nope." At that moment, the camera zoomed in on EunHyuk. "Oh ma gosh, look at his hair!! He looks so goooood," she squealed happily.
"Still the typical fangirl, I see," I said, turning back to the keyboard.
"Damn, they ALL look good," she said, as the camera went for a shot with everyone in it. "Except for ShinDong. I mean, can his hair get any bigger? HeeChul looks like something out of Lion King," she added, laughing. "Oh, KyuHyun's hair looks good on him."
I felt a bit annoyed. I mean, she was the one who wanted to stop me from getting the passes, now she couldn't stop herself. I turned back around. "Hey, quit it, I'm trying to play this thing."
"Oh fine," she said, switching off the TV and stretching out on the couch. I could see her grinning.
"Look, you didn't want me to get the passes at first, so quit being on top of the world about it."
Her face fell. "Sorry JaeHwa," she said. "I just feel... excited. You know, about seeing them again and all."
"I'm more nervous actually."
"Think they'd be shocked when they see us?"
"I think they already know we'll be there."
"Oh yeah? How much are you willing to bet?"
None I thought. I just prayed that everything would go smoothly.
It's You Chapter 19
"It's sooo hotttt," complained HyunJae, lying on my bed. It was true. It was the middle of summer and Tokyo was shimmering from the heat. I'd closed the windows and turned on the fan, but it was still hot. And I'd ignored HyunJae's pleas to turn on the air-conditioning because the world was already polluted enough without me adding to it.
"Don't worry, when I came it was hot too, but you'll get used to it. You've only been here for 3 days, it's not always like this," I replied assuringly. I turned back to my laptop, willing JunSu to come online so we could talk.
"It better be," she said, sticking her arms in the air and examining her fingernails.
JunSu's name popped up on the screen.
"Hey, JunSu's on!" I said happily, clicking on his icon. HyunJae bounced off the bed.
"I hope he's suffering like I am," she said, dragging up a chair next to me.
"Sadist," I replied as my webcam warmed up.
"Who's a sadist?" said JunSu's voice. "I hope you're not talking about me, JaeHwa."
I laughed. "No, not you, don't worry."
"Hey prefect," said HyunJae, waving at the camera.
"You? What the heck are you doing there? I don't wanna see you, I just wanna see JaeHwa, I see you every single damn day of school," said JunSu jokingly. As his camera came on, we both saw that he was shirtless.
"I'm insulted, Park JunSu. You're so dead when I come back," said HyunJae, raising a fist. "And put a shirt on, this isn't the beach."
"Hey, I'm hot, you can't blame me."
I laughed. "A hot prefect huh? Now that's something."
"I didn't mean it like that!" objected JunSu, but he stood up and moved out of the camera's view. When he came back he had put on a singlet. "There, happy now?"
"Very."
"Actually, the plan was for me to seduce JaeHwa with my hot body, but you spoilt it HyunJae," he remarked, messing up his hair and putting on a sheepish face.
"Hah!" said HyunJae. "Don't go breaking your fangirl's hearts, JunSu," she said warningly.
"Fangirls?" I said, looking at HyunJae, then JunSu. "Oh! What kind of friend are you, Park JunSu, you never told me you had a fan club!"
"It's not a fan club!" said JunSu, but we saw him blush. HyunJae and I burst out laughing.
"Aww, you made the boy blush," said HyunJae. JunSu screwed up his face.
"I know how to make you blush, Kim HyunJae," he shot back, sticking out his tongue at her.
"Don't you dare!" said HyunJae, suddenly serious.
"Damn you guys are close now," I said. "Maybe it was a good thing I moved huh?"
"Don't be stupid JaeHwa, we're all close. Even if you stayed on HyunJae and I would probably be like this anyway. So it's nothing to do with you leaving."
"What he said."
"Get your own comforting words, don't steal mine!"
"I so did not steal yours, I didn't say anything!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever, I can't hear you, blah blah blah," said JunSu, putting his hands over his ears.
"Eurgh, you are SO annoying!" said HyunJae, crossing her arms and glaring at him. I laughed. This was going to be the best holiday I'd had since I'd arrived in Japan.
---
"Yes people, you have heard right! We are giving away two tickets to spend two days and a night with Super Junior while they're here in Japan!"
I looked over at HyunJae who was surfing the internet on her laptop. I turned up the radio. "Honestly, are you thinking of entering that contest?" she asked skeptically.
"No," I said quietly. "But I like the idea."
She sighed. "You haven't really let go of him have you." She looked at me. It was a statement, not a question.
"I like to think I have," I admitted. "And I think I have. But there's still some part of me that doesn't want to."
"Don't worry, sooner or later he'll just be a small chapter in your life," she said assuringly. "I mean, I had EunHyuk and SiWon, and they're a bigger problem than DongHae. But that's over now."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Just wait for the cue-to-call soon, when you hear 'Miracle' by the one and only Super Junior! The twentieth person will be on their way to spend two days with Super Junior! So don't go anywhere. Meanwhile, here's Dong Bang Shin Ki with 'Purple Line'!" The Dj's voice faded out as DBSK's song came in. Sometimes I found it weird how DBSK was referred to as 'Tohoshinki' here in Japan, but this was a Korean station, so they said DBSK.
"Hey, come and look at this," said HyunJae.
"What, don't tell me you've fallen for SHINee," I said, leaving the desk and plopping myself on the bed beside her.
"Hey, Replay is a nice song!" she said. "But I still like Super Junior better."
"Yeah... which explains why you're on their fan website?" I looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "I thought you were done with them."
"I was, but I was bored and thought I'd go here... I haven't been here for a long time, you understand? Just thought I'd... see what they're up to."
"You know what they're up to, they're coming here."
"You know what I mean. I want... to see them being cute again. I just wanna see the faces that they show to the fans instead of the faces that they show to us."
I was silent. I knew. I so wanted to see them being cute and funny again, instead of them fighting and being serious. I watched HyunJae scroll down the page, looking for videos.
"Why do they keep writing stuff? I just want to see them, not read about them," she muttered. Even though she wasn't stopping, I could still see the pictures. Of DongHae smiling, laughing, pulling faces, goofing around with SungMin and EunHyuk. Only I knew how much they weren't really him.
"Finally...!" said HyunJae as she found a video halfway down the page.
'DongHae talking in his sleep' was the caption.
"This would be funny," she said, clicking the play button.
"Meh," was all I said. "I don't really want to see this."
"You don't have to, go back to your radio," she replied as it started buffering. Even though I didn't want to, I stayed on the bed, waiting for the torture to start.
It was obviously EunHyuk's camera, he loved videoing the others. The video started with SungMin smiling, sticking his face into the camera, being cute. I smiled at that. At least I knew that he was like that even without the camera. YeSung sauntered into view. I remembered the last time I saw him, looking grim and downcast. "EunHyuk ah, come and wake up his lazy pig," he said.
"I thought I was the lazy pig," said EunHyuk's voice from behind the camera. I looked at HyunJae, but she appeared to have no reaction to the sound of his voice.
"No, you're the dirty disgusting pig," said SiWon, coming out of a door and smiling at the camera. HyunJae paused the video.
"You think they got over it?" I asked before she could say anything.
"I have no idea. But they're smiling, and that's all I want them to do," she replied.
"They could be pretending, you know," I said, but she shook her head.
"I know SiWon. He doesn't smile unless he really means it."
She started the video again.
RyeoWook emerged from his room in his pyjamas, looking half asleep. "Eh, hyung...!" he said, when he saw the camera, then ran back into his room. I smiled, he was so adorable.
"So where's the pig huh?" said EunHyuk. YeSung pulled him into a room, where a figure was lying on the bed. "Oh, this pig." The camera zoomed in on the figure's face.
It was DongHae, sound asleep.
Before I could shut my eyes, the camera swivelled around at EunHyuk and YeSung's face. "You see people," said EunHyuk. "Our poor little DongHae dances the night away, then comes back and can't fall asleep because of ShinDong's snores. So he's always the last to wake up."
"This is our mission everyday," added YeSung. The camera turned back to DongHae. A hand entered the view and started poking him.
"DongHae ah," said EunHyuk. "Wake up!" Another hand joined in the poking. DongHae's face scrunched up and he turned over, pulling the blanket over his head. YeSung pulled the blanket off.
"Mmmmm," groaned DongHae. YeSung sighed.
"We'll come back later, we have to get ourselves ready now." EunHyuk aimed the camera at himself. "But this mission isn't over," he added, giving a cute pose. A new scene came up, with the words "10 minutes later". YeSung and EunHyuk entered the room again, calling out "DongHae yaaaa...!"
EunHyuk put the camera close to DongHae's face. "Do you have anything to say to the camera?" he said teasingly.
"JaeHwa," said DongHae softly, his face contorted in pain. I froze. My heart started thumping. Did I just hear right? HyunJae looked at me, her eyes wide. The video was still going on. "JaeHwa, don't go, don't go," murmured DongHae. There was a silence behind the camera. I stopped the video.
"What the..." HyunJae managed to choke out. In the background, the radio was playing a song by SNSD.
"I heard wrong, right?" I said desperately, willing her to say that yes, I had heard wrong, he had said something else.
"I must have heard wrong too then," was her reply. She looked dazed.
"No...!" I said, burying my head in my hands. "No, no, no, no, no!" I looked up. "When was that video taken? I need to know!"
HyunJae reopened the page. "April 2008," she said.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I said. "He was the one who said goodbye to me! He let me go!"
"You know he didn't mean it JaeHwa," said HyunJae. "He's still in love with you."
At that moment, Miracle started playing on the radio. I grabbed HyunJae's phone from beside her.
"What are you doing?!" demanded HyunJae, trying to grab it back.
"I need to see him!" I said, punching in the station's number.
"But you're trying to forget him!" she said, giving up and looking bewildered.
"Not when he can't forget me!" I said. Busy number. I called again. Busy.
I tried at least 6 times when the phone was finally picked up.
"Hello, and welcome to Kiss the Radio Japan!" said the Dj's voice. "You're our lucky twentieth caller through! What's your name?"
I nearly dropped the phone in shock.
"Hi, I'm JaeHwa," I said, trying not to sound as panicked as I felt.
"Well JaeHwa, do you know what's going to happen now?"
"Oh my God," was all I said. The Dj laughed.
"Well, yes, you might be going to stay with Super Junior for two days, but first you have to answer some trivial questions about them."
My heart sank. I wasn't ready for this, I had been out of touch with them for a year. I looked at HyunJae for advice. She nodded at me, then pointed at the computer, giving me a grin. Her researching skills were legendary in school.
"Are you ready, JaeHwa sshi?" prompted the Dj.
"Yes," I said firmly. "I'm ready."
"Don't worry, when I came it was hot too, but you'll get used to it. You've only been here for 3 days, it's not always like this," I replied assuringly. I turned back to my laptop, willing JunSu to come online so we could talk.
"It better be," she said, sticking her arms in the air and examining her fingernails.
JunSu's name popped up on the screen.
"Hey, JunSu's on!" I said happily, clicking on his icon. HyunJae bounced off the bed.
"I hope he's suffering like I am," she said, dragging up a chair next to me.
"Sadist," I replied as my webcam warmed up.
"Who's a sadist?" said JunSu's voice. "I hope you're not talking about me, JaeHwa."
I laughed. "No, not you, don't worry."
"Hey prefect," said HyunJae, waving at the camera.
"You? What the heck are you doing there? I don't wanna see you, I just wanna see JaeHwa, I see you every single damn day of school," said JunSu jokingly. As his camera came on, we both saw that he was shirtless.
"I'm insulted, Park JunSu. You're so dead when I come back," said HyunJae, raising a fist. "And put a shirt on, this isn't the beach."
"Hey, I'm hot, you can't blame me."
I laughed. "A hot prefect huh? Now that's something."
"I didn't mean it like that!" objected JunSu, but he stood up and moved out of the camera's view. When he came back he had put on a singlet. "There, happy now?"
"Very."
"Actually, the plan was for me to seduce JaeHwa with my hot body, but you spoilt it HyunJae," he remarked, messing up his hair and putting on a sheepish face.
"Hah!" said HyunJae. "Don't go breaking your fangirl's hearts, JunSu," she said warningly.
"Fangirls?" I said, looking at HyunJae, then JunSu. "Oh! What kind of friend are you, Park JunSu, you never told me you had a fan club!"
"It's not a fan club!" said JunSu, but we saw him blush. HyunJae and I burst out laughing.
"Aww, you made the boy blush," said HyunJae. JunSu screwed up his face.
"I know how to make you blush, Kim HyunJae," he shot back, sticking out his tongue at her.
"Don't you dare!" said HyunJae, suddenly serious.
"Damn you guys are close now," I said. "Maybe it was a good thing I moved huh?"
"Don't be stupid JaeHwa, we're all close. Even if you stayed on HyunJae and I would probably be like this anyway. So it's nothing to do with you leaving."
"What he said."
"Get your own comforting words, don't steal mine!"
"I so did not steal yours, I didn't say anything!"
"Yeah yeah, whatever, I can't hear you, blah blah blah," said JunSu, putting his hands over his ears.
"Eurgh, you are SO annoying!" said HyunJae, crossing her arms and glaring at him. I laughed. This was going to be the best holiday I'd had since I'd arrived in Japan.
---
"Yes people, you have heard right! We are giving away two tickets to spend two days and a night with Super Junior while they're here in Japan!"
I looked over at HyunJae who was surfing the internet on her laptop. I turned up the radio. "Honestly, are you thinking of entering that contest?" she asked skeptically.
"No," I said quietly. "But I like the idea."
She sighed. "You haven't really let go of him have you." She looked at me. It was a statement, not a question.
"I like to think I have," I admitted. "And I think I have. But there's still some part of me that doesn't want to."
"Don't worry, sooner or later he'll just be a small chapter in your life," she said assuringly. "I mean, I had EunHyuk and SiWon, and they're a bigger problem than DongHae. But that's over now."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
"Just wait for the cue-to-call soon, when you hear 'Miracle' by the one and only Super Junior! The twentieth person will be on their way to spend two days with Super Junior! So don't go anywhere. Meanwhile, here's Dong Bang Shin Ki with 'Purple Line'!" The Dj's voice faded out as DBSK's song came in. Sometimes I found it weird how DBSK was referred to as 'Tohoshinki' here in Japan, but this was a Korean station, so they said DBSK.
"Hey, come and look at this," said HyunJae.
"What, don't tell me you've fallen for SHINee," I said, leaving the desk and plopping myself on the bed beside her.
"Hey, Replay is a nice song!" she said. "But I still like Super Junior better."
"Yeah... which explains why you're on their fan website?" I looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "I thought you were done with them."
"I was, but I was bored and thought I'd go here... I haven't been here for a long time, you understand? Just thought I'd... see what they're up to."
"You know what they're up to, they're coming here."
"You know what I mean. I want... to see them being cute again. I just wanna see the faces that they show to the fans instead of the faces that they show to us."
I was silent. I knew. I so wanted to see them being cute and funny again, instead of them fighting and being serious. I watched HyunJae scroll down the page, looking for videos.
"Why do they keep writing stuff? I just want to see them, not read about them," she muttered. Even though she wasn't stopping, I could still see the pictures. Of DongHae smiling, laughing, pulling faces, goofing around with SungMin and EunHyuk. Only I knew how much they weren't really him.
"Finally...!" said HyunJae as she found a video halfway down the page.
'DongHae talking in his sleep' was the caption.
"This would be funny," she said, clicking the play button.
"Meh," was all I said. "I don't really want to see this."
"You don't have to, go back to your radio," she replied as it started buffering. Even though I didn't want to, I stayed on the bed, waiting for the torture to start.
It was obviously EunHyuk's camera, he loved videoing the others. The video started with SungMin smiling, sticking his face into the camera, being cute. I smiled at that. At least I knew that he was like that even without the camera. YeSung sauntered into view. I remembered the last time I saw him, looking grim and downcast. "EunHyuk ah, come and wake up his lazy pig," he said.
"I thought I was the lazy pig," said EunHyuk's voice from behind the camera. I looked at HyunJae, but she appeared to have no reaction to the sound of his voice.
"No, you're the dirty disgusting pig," said SiWon, coming out of a door and smiling at the camera. HyunJae paused the video.
"You think they got over it?" I asked before she could say anything.
"I have no idea. But they're smiling, and that's all I want them to do," she replied.
"They could be pretending, you know," I said, but she shook her head.
"I know SiWon. He doesn't smile unless he really means it."
She started the video again.
RyeoWook emerged from his room in his pyjamas, looking half asleep. "Eh, hyung...!" he said, when he saw the camera, then ran back into his room. I smiled, he was so adorable.
"So where's the pig huh?" said EunHyuk. YeSung pulled him into a room, where a figure was lying on the bed. "Oh, this pig." The camera zoomed in on the figure's face.
It was DongHae, sound asleep.
Before I could shut my eyes, the camera swivelled around at EunHyuk and YeSung's face. "You see people," said EunHyuk. "Our poor little DongHae dances the night away, then comes back and can't fall asleep because of ShinDong's snores. So he's always the last to wake up."
"This is our mission everyday," added YeSung. The camera turned back to DongHae. A hand entered the view and started poking him.
"DongHae ah," said EunHyuk. "Wake up!" Another hand joined in the poking. DongHae's face scrunched up and he turned over, pulling the blanket over his head. YeSung pulled the blanket off.
"Mmmmm," groaned DongHae. YeSung sighed.
"We'll come back later, we have to get ourselves ready now." EunHyuk aimed the camera at himself. "But this mission isn't over," he added, giving a cute pose. A new scene came up, with the words "10 minutes later". YeSung and EunHyuk entered the room again, calling out "DongHae yaaaa...!"
EunHyuk put the camera close to DongHae's face. "Do you have anything to say to the camera?" he said teasingly.
"JaeHwa," said DongHae softly, his face contorted in pain. I froze. My heart started thumping. Did I just hear right? HyunJae looked at me, her eyes wide. The video was still going on. "JaeHwa, don't go, don't go," murmured DongHae. There was a silence behind the camera. I stopped the video.
"What the..." HyunJae managed to choke out. In the background, the radio was playing a song by SNSD.
"I heard wrong, right?" I said desperately, willing her to say that yes, I had heard wrong, he had said something else.
"I must have heard wrong too then," was her reply. She looked dazed.
"No...!" I said, burying my head in my hands. "No, no, no, no, no!" I looked up. "When was that video taken? I need to know!"
HyunJae reopened the page. "April 2008," she said.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I said. "He was the one who said goodbye to me! He let me go!"
"You know he didn't mean it JaeHwa," said HyunJae. "He's still in love with you."
At that moment, Miracle started playing on the radio. I grabbed HyunJae's phone from beside her.
"What are you doing?!" demanded HyunJae, trying to grab it back.
"I need to see him!" I said, punching in the station's number.
"But you're trying to forget him!" she said, giving up and looking bewildered.
"Not when he can't forget me!" I said. Busy number. I called again. Busy.
I tried at least 6 times when the phone was finally picked up.
"Hello, and welcome to Kiss the Radio Japan!" said the Dj's voice. "You're our lucky twentieth caller through! What's your name?"
I nearly dropped the phone in shock.
"Hi, I'm JaeHwa," I said, trying not to sound as panicked as I felt.
"Well JaeHwa, do you know what's going to happen now?"
"Oh my God," was all I said. The Dj laughed.
"Well, yes, you might be going to stay with Super Junior for two days, but first you have to answer some trivial questions about them."
My heart sank. I wasn't ready for this, I had been out of touch with them for a year. I looked at HyunJae for advice. She nodded at me, then pointed at the computer, giving me a grin. Her researching skills were legendary in school.
"Are you ready, JaeHwa sshi?" prompted the Dj.
"Yes," I said firmly. "I'm ready."
23.10.09
It's You Chapter 18
ONE YEAR LATER.
'JaeHwa!' someone called. I turned, looking around. Funny. I swore someone had called me name. I turned back to my locker, pulling out "Japanese 101". 'Hey, JaeHwa!' I turned again. This time I found the person that the voice belonged to. Leanne made her way through the crowd, pushing people aside. She looked excited.
I've been in Japan for nearly a year now. On the plane and for the first few days of being here, I cried. I missed everyone terribly. It literally felt like there was a hole in my heart.
I've been out of contact with DongHae for nearly a year now. For the first few months I thought of him every single day, wondering how we was doing, whether he missed me. After a while it sunk in that he had probably moved on, was probably too busy with Super Junior's new album to think of me.
So I moved on too.
We lost contact altogether, and HyunJae stopped seeing EunHyuk and SiWon. It hurt for both of us, but maybe we were better off without them. It certainly got rid of some of our problems. Eventually EunHyuk and SiWon stopped calling her too. I didn't even buy their new album. I had a feeling that if I heard his voice I might snap.
JunSu became a prefect. The teachers thought that he certainly deserved it, ever since he managed to stop a gang fight between his former friends and some seniors. He was so different from the person he was when he started secondary school, and that was what I loved about him.
Everyday HyunJae and JunSu would sit under the tree during lunch. Our names are still there, still carved deep into the tree as if we made them yesterday. People think that JunSu's name is there because we were both his girlfriends, but he doesn't care. Rumours don't touch him.
I'm in an international school, Korean class. We learn English and some Japanese, and I've got no problem with them. I'm not entirely fluent in Japanese yet, just know enough to order food in a restaurant and buy stuff. But I'm getting there. And I still take Korean classes, but most classes are in English, which makes me grateful for the fact that I was top in English back in Korea.
---
"Hi Leanne," I said. It was easy communicating with Leanne because her parents were Korean and she knew how to speak Korean as well as Japanese and English. Sue Yin sauntered up behind her. She was Chinese, but she loved her Korean bands so much that she was learning Korean. She wasn't very fluent yet but she had improved alot since I met her a year ago.
"You're never going to believe this," she said, as Leanne brandished a newspaper cutout in my face.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to catch hold of it.
"Super Junior's coming to Japan!" squealed Leanne, jumping up and down. I abandoned my attempt at snatching the paper from her. I probably would have torn it. Instead, I let a look of shock cross my face.
"What?!" I said.
"Yeah!" said Sue Yin, grinning from ear to ear. "And it's during the holidays! They're gonna be meeting fans at the Nippon Budokan! It's so close to us!"
"Is it free..?" I asked. "When is it?"
"It's during the school holidays, 8th to 9th July. You need a ticket, but I'm so excited!" replied Leanne, stopping her jumping frenzy.
"If you need a ticket, why're you excited...?" I asked, feeling slightly bewildered. It wasn't like it was free, and I bet that tickets were already selling out as we spoke.
"Because my brother is on the ticket community and he managed to snag us tickets!" she said, almost pulling out her hair.
"Wait, what?! Are you kidding me?!" I said, grabbing her.
"Yeah! Oh my God, I can't wait...!"
"Neither can I," I murmured.
---
"You're kidding me? You're going to see him?" said HyunJae as we started another of our webcam calls.
"I don't have a choice, they're going to make me go with them," I said, sighing. Leanne and Sue Yin were nice, but they weren't HyunJae.
"Then say you're busy or something!" she said. At that moment, my cellphone rang.
"Hang on," I said to HyunJae as I picked it up. She nodded and went back to her homework, but I could see that she was listening.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey JaeHwa, it's Leanne. I'm really sorry, but my brother only managed to get us two tickets, and... well..."
"Sue Yin wants to go right? That's okay, I think I've got stuff to do on that day... you know, with my friend coming from Korea and all."
"Really? Okay... that's good, but I still feel bad... are you sure you're okay with it?"
"Absolutely," I said firmly. I meant it. I didn't feel up to meeting with DongHae again, though I doubt he remembered me anymore.
"Alright, you said it. See you in school on Monday yea? So happy there's only 2 weeks left til holidays, I'm so tired of school."
I laughed with her. "Aren't we all? Alright, see you." I hung up and turned back to HyunJae. She had one eyebrow raised but she still looked amused.
"Geez, you're be the luckiest girl in the world, you know that?" she remarked.
"Yeah, thank God for that," I said. "Now we can have the whole two weeks to ourselves! And no Super Juniors to mess it up for us." I smiled.
"I can't believe I'm going to visit you in Japan for two weeks," she said. "It seems so unreal. You shouldn't even be there, you should be here in Korea with us!"
"I know. God, you don't know how much I want to be there." I paused. "But on the other hand, no angry staring fangirls. Or notes on the door. You know? I'm just a normal kid now."
HyunJae sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. At least the whole thing's blown over now, especially with their new album and all, everyone's choosing to forget what happened with DongHae."
"That's good," I said. "Hey... you didn't buy their album did you?"
HyunJae looked up and I knew she was looking at the one and only Super Junior picture above her computer. "No... I didn't," she said quietly. "I didn't want to." She looked back at me. "Some fans we are huh? Didn't even get their brand new album and don't want to meet them live." She laughed.
"We were more than fans, that was the problem."
"Sad. I'll never loiter around the SM building again. Who knows, I might get involved with DBSK or SHINee or something. In fact, I still remember the day you tripped over DongHae's foot."
"Like it was yesterday."
"I've got to stop reliving that. By the way, JunSu really misses you."
"I've heard. It's the first thing he says when we talk. That and 'When are you coming back?' It's pretty funny."
"Well, he's happy he's prefect now, I think he really deserves it."
"Me too." We settled into a comfortable silence, thinking. I was reminiscing. The very first day I met DongHae. When I ran away. When I stayed overnight. All the times I went to the hospital. I smiled at that. Might have broken a record for being there too often, even though it wasn't always for myself. My smile disappeared when I remembered EunHyuk. When Donghae kissed me.
When we said goodbye.
---
"There's HyunJaeeee....!" I screamed as I spotted her walking out of the gates. I launched myself out of the car and ran towards her, shrieking all the way. She looked around for moment, then dropped her bags and screamed too. Everyone looked at us, but I was past caring.
HyunJae and I wrapped our arms around each other. "JaeHwa JaeHwa JaeHwa!" she kept saying happily. We released each other and she took a good look at me. "You're smile is so big it's running around your face!" she said as my parents finally caught up with me and greeted her.
We all walked back to the car, HyunJae and I chattering the whole way. We didn't even stop when my mum asked where we wanted to go for lunch.
I saw my parents smile at each other in the rear view window.
---
"Wow, Tokyo has SO many people!" remarked HyunJae as we drove back.
"Yeah, and during peak office hours, I wake up and see all the people walking across the road from my window, it's like little black dots all over the place," I replied as we reached our apartment.
"Do they even have houses here?"
"Do they have houses in the Gangnam district?"
"Oh yeah... but still...!"
"There are some around, but it's mostly flats."
"Do I get my own room?"
"Nope, you're rooming with yours truly."
"Fun...!"
We pushed her suitcase into the lift with my parents, then the two of us made our way up the stairs.
"And what floor do you live on?"
I shot an evil grin at her. "11th. After a while you'll get used to it. I always walk."
"What?! Damn, I shouldn't have come to visit you if you're going to make me walk up 11 storeys everyday."
"Yeah well, you're here now, muahahahaha. Maybe I should call SiWon so he can carry you up the stairs!"
"Hey!"
She chased me up the first few storeys, laughing the whole way.
Yes, life was finally back to normal.
'JaeHwa!' someone called. I turned, looking around. Funny. I swore someone had called me name. I turned back to my locker, pulling out "Japanese 101". 'Hey, JaeHwa!' I turned again. This time I found the person that the voice belonged to. Leanne made her way through the crowd, pushing people aside. She looked excited.
I've been in Japan for nearly a year now. On the plane and for the first few days of being here, I cried. I missed everyone terribly. It literally felt like there was a hole in my heart.
I've been out of contact with DongHae for nearly a year now. For the first few months I thought of him every single day, wondering how we was doing, whether he missed me. After a while it sunk in that he had probably moved on, was probably too busy with Super Junior's new album to think of me.
So I moved on too.
We lost contact altogether, and HyunJae stopped seeing EunHyuk and SiWon. It hurt for both of us, but maybe we were better off without them. It certainly got rid of some of our problems. Eventually EunHyuk and SiWon stopped calling her too. I didn't even buy their new album. I had a feeling that if I heard his voice I might snap.
JunSu became a prefect. The teachers thought that he certainly deserved it, ever since he managed to stop a gang fight between his former friends and some seniors. He was so different from the person he was when he started secondary school, and that was what I loved about him.
Everyday HyunJae and JunSu would sit under the tree during lunch. Our names are still there, still carved deep into the tree as if we made them yesterday. People think that JunSu's name is there because we were both his girlfriends, but he doesn't care. Rumours don't touch him.
I'm in an international school, Korean class. We learn English and some Japanese, and I've got no problem with them. I'm not entirely fluent in Japanese yet, just know enough to order food in a restaurant and buy stuff. But I'm getting there. And I still take Korean classes, but most classes are in English, which makes me grateful for the fact that I was top in English back in Korea.
---
"Hi Leanne," I said. It was easy communicating with Leanne because her parents were Korean and she knew how to speak Korean as well as Japanese and English. Sue Yin sauntered up behind her. She was Chinese, but she loved her Korean bands so much that she was learning Korean. She wasn't very fluent yet but she had improved alot since I met her a year ago.
"You're never going to believe this," she said, as Leanne brandished a newspaper cutout in my face.
"What is it?" I asked, trying to catch hold of it.
"Super Junior's coming to Japan!" squealed Leanne, jumping up and down. I abandoned my attempt at snatching the paper from her. I probably would have torn it. Instead, I let a look of shock cross my face.
"What?!" I said.
"Yeah!" said Sue Yin, grinning from ear to ear. "And it's during the holidays! They're gonna be meeting fans at the Nippon Budokan! It's so close to us!"
"Is it free..?" I asked. "When is it?"
"It's during the school holidays, 8th to 9th July. You need a ticket, but I'm so excited!" replied Leanne, stopping her jumping frenzy.
"If you need a ticket, why're you excited...?" I asked, feeling slightly bewildered. It wasn't like it was free, and I bet that tickets were already selling out as we spoke.
"Because my brother is on the ticket community and he managed to snag us tickets!" she said, almost pulling out her hair.
"Wait, what?! Are you kidding me?!" I said, grabbing her.
"Yeah! Oh my God, I can't wait...!"
"Neither can I," I murmured.
---
"You're kidding me? You're going to see him?" said HyunJae as we started another of our webcam calls.
"I don't have a choice, they're going to make me go with them," I said, sighing. Leanne and Sue Yin were nice, but they weren't HyunJae.
"Then say you're busy or something!" she said. At that moment, my cellphone rang.
"Hang on," I said to HyunJae as I picked it up. She nodded and went back to her homework, but I could see that she was listening.
"Hello?" I said.
"Hey JaeHwa, it's Leanne. I'm really sorry, but my brother only managed to get us two tickets, and... well..."
"Sue Yin wants to go right? That's okay, I think I've got stuff to do on that day... you know, with my friend coming from Korea and all."
"Really? Okay... that's good, but I still feel bad... are you sure you're okay with it?"
"Absolutely," I said firmly. I meant it. I didn't feel up to meeting with DongHae again, though I doubt he remembered me anymore.
"Alright, you said it. See you in school on Monday yea? So happy there's only 2 weeks left til holidays, I'm so tired of school."
I laughed with her. "Aren't we all? Alright, see you." I hung up and turned back to HyunJae. She had one eyebrow raised but she still looked amused.
"Geez, you're be the luckiest girl in the world, you know that?" she remarked.
"Yeah, thank God for that," I said. "Now we can have the whole two weeks to ourselves! And no Super Juniors to mess it up for us." I smiled.
"I can't believe I'm going to visit you in Japan for two weeks," she said. "It seems so unreal. You shouldn't even be there, you should be here in Korea with us!"
"I know. God, you don't know how much I want to be there." I paused. "But on the other hand, no angry staring fangirls. Or notes on the door. You know? I'm just a normal kid now."
HyunJae sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. At least the whole thing's blown over now, especially with their new album and all, everyone's choosing to forget what happened with DongHae."
"That's good," I said. "Hey... you didn't buy their album did you?"
HyunJae looked up and I knew she was looking at the one and only Super Junior picture above her computer. "No... I didn't," she said quietly. "I didn't want to." She looked back at me. "Some fans we are huh? Didn't even get their brand new album and don't want to meet them live." She laughed.
"We were more than fans, that was the problem."
"Sad. I'll never loiter around the SM building again. Who knows, I might get involved with DBSK or SHINee or something. In fact, I still remember the day you tripped over DongHae's foot."
"Like it was yesterday."
"I've got to stop reliving that. By the way, JunSu really misses you."
"I've heard. It's the first thing he says when we talk. That and 'When are you coming back?' It's pretty funny."
"Well, he's happy he's prefect now, I think he really deserves it."
"Me too." We settled into a comfortable silence, thinking. I was reminiscing. The very first day I met DongHae. When I ran away. When I stayed overnight. All the times I went to the hospital. I smiled at that. Might have broken a record for being there too often, even though it wasn't always for myself. My smile disappeared when I remembered EunHyuk. When Donghae kissed me.
When we said goodbye.
---
"There's HyunJaeeee....!" I screamed as I spotted her walking out of the gates. I launched myself out of the car and ran towards her, shrieking all the way. She looked around for moment, then dropped her bags and screamed too. Everyone looked at us, but I was past caring.
HyunJae and I wrapped our arms around each other. "JaeHwa JaeHwa JaeHwa!" she kept saying happily. We released each other and she took a good look at me. "You're smile is so big it's running around your face!" she said as my parents finally caught up with me and greeted her.
We all walked back to the car, HyunJae and I chattering the whole way. We didn't even stop when my mum asked where we wanted to go for lunch.
I saw my parents smile at each other in the rear view window.
---
"Wow, Tokyo has SO many people!" remarked HyunJae as we drove back.
"Yeah, and during peak office hours, I wake up and see all the people walking across the road from my window, it's like little black dots all over the place," I replied as we reached our apartment.
"Do they even have houses here?"
"Do they have houses in the Gangnam district?"
"Oh yeah... but still...!"
"There are some around, but it's mostly flats."
"Do I get my own room?"
"Nope, you're rooming with yours truly."
"Fun...!"
We pushed her suitcase into the lift with my parents, then the two of us made our way up the stairs.
"And what floor do you live on?"
I shot an evil grin at her. "11th. After a while you'll get used to it. I always walk."
"What?! Damn, I shouldn't have come to visit you if you're going to make me walk up 11 storeys everyday."
"Yeah well, you're here now, muahahahaha. Maybe I should call SiWon so he can carry you up the stairs!"
"Hey!"
She chased me up the first few storeys, laughing the whole way.
Yes, life was finally back to normal.
It's You Chapter 17
'Please don't tell me why you're here,' said KyuHyun quietly when he opened the door. I bowed my head.
'No, KyuHyun, not yet. She still has a few days.' HyunJae pulled me into the house.
'HyunJae!' yelped EunHyuk, who was sitting on the couch. He jumped off and stared at her, looking stricken. He probably thought I'd told her about him.
'EunHyuk Oppa,' said HyunJae with a smile, stepping around the couch and hugging him.
He tensed up at first, then looked at me with a questioning look. I shook my head and pressed a finger to my lips. His expression changed to relief, and he hugged her back.
Someone hugged me from the back. 'I'm not letting you go anywhere,' said DongHae in my ear. I hung my head again, and he buried his forehead against my shoulder. I gently pried his fingers loose, then turned and faced him.
'You know I don't have a choice,' I said, squeezing his hand.
'I know. And it sucks that I can't do anything about it.'
'DongHae, you're not even supposed to be with me.'
'Still doesn't mean I can't do anything about it.' He ruffled my hair. 'Want to go outside?'
'Huh?' I said, bewildered. My face was probably in O.O mode again.
'Yeah! Do something daring!' He noticed my expression. 'Don't worry, we can wear those surgical masks or something. It's summer, it's hot, we both could be "sick" or something. Let's go to the mall!' He smiled, and I almost felt like going along with him.
'But...' I started, and he covered my mouth with his hand.
'No buts, let's go!'
'DongHae, this is crazy!'
'In case you haven't noticed, you're leaving JaeHwa. I won't see you... for a long time. Let's just break the rules for once in our lives, huh?'
That got me. 'HyunJae, I'm going out with DongHae, okay?' I said, turning to her and EunHyuk. They were both sitting on the couch, taking pictures. 'Uh, okay...' I said, my face in -.-" mode. I turned away, in time to see SiWon standing in the doorway. 'SiWon sshi...!' I said, whirling around to face DongHae, terrified.
Too late.
SiWon was looking past me, at EunHyuk and HyunJae. I thought I could almost see the vein in his neck throbbing. HyunJae whirled around at the sound of his name.
'SiWon sshi!' she said, delighted, then looked puzzled at is expression. EunHyuk stood up, putting his arm in front of her as if protecting her from SiWon. 'What... what's going on?' said HyunJae, looking from SiWon to EunHyuk. DongHae laid a hand on SiWon's arm.
'It's nothing SiWon, it's nothing, just walk away,' he murmured, trying to calm him down, which was pretty funny since SiWon was about a head taller than him. He was met with a cold stare.
'SiWon,' said EunHyuk warningly. HyunJae looked extremely puzzled, and I wished that I could do something.
'You know what? Let's go HyunJae,' I said, pulling her away from EunHyuk. He looked hurt, then shot a grateful glance at me. I spied YeSung and KangIn watching from their doorways. KyuHyun was next to DongHae. 'I'm so sorry, DongHae,' I said. He squeezed my hand reassuringly.
'That's ok, we've got time,' he said, smiling.
As we passed SiWon, he put his hand on HyunJae's shoulder. She smiled up at him.
BIG mistake.
EunHyuk jumped over the sofa and launched himself SiWon. The two of them went down in a struggling mess of limbs. And this time SiWon was fighting back.
'You don't own her, EunHyuk!' yelled SiWon.
'You have no right to touch her, none at all!' EunHyuk yelled back.
'Oh my God!' screamed HyunJae. I stood in one spot, paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. Drag HyunJae from this mess or let them clear it up for themselves. In the end, with DongHae joining in the fight, it was KyuHyun who decided what to do. He pulled us out of the doorway and into the lift, hurriedly pressing the button, his jaw set.
HyunJae sank down to the floor. 'What just happened?' she asked weakly.
'I'm so sorry HyunJae, I swear I never thought it was going to be this bad,' I said, sliding down next to her. I looked up at KyuHyun. 'What's been going on since the last time?' I asked.
'It's been pretty tense between them, but nothing's happened much.' He glanced at HyunJae. 'at least... until today.'
'JaeHwa, what the hell is going on?!' demanded HyunJae, pulling my sleeve. At the same time, the lift doors opened. We both scrambled to our feet.
'I won't go out with you, people might see me,' said KyuHyun. He drew me into a quick hug. 'Come back again JaeHwa, sorry about today. It just... wasn't supposed to work out today.'
'That's okay KyuHyun,' I said, stepping out of the lift and pulling HyunJae behind me. 'I'll be back, I promise.' I caught his smile disappear as the lift doors closed.
That was when I felt worried for what was going on upstairs.
---
'... why didn't you tell me this before?' asked HyunJae.
'I'm leaving. If I told you, I'd be leaving you with a problem to fix yourself. It would have been better if you didn't know at all,' I said, closing my eyes. I was tired. I'd been preparing to leave for almost 2 weeks now, packing the stuff I wanted, throwing away the ones I didn't. DongHae and Super Junior's pictures had taken a lot of thought on my part. I didn't know whether to keep them or throw them. In the end, I handed entire pile to HyunJae.
'Oh JaeHwa, now I know, and it's too late, what am I going to do now?' wailed HyunJae, clinging to me.
'I don't know, Jae,' I whispered, clinging back. I felt disorientated.
It still hadn't sunk in that I was going leaving, that the things that I took for granted would soon be gone.
'I think I have to stay away from them,' said HyunJae finally. 'Maybe if I cut off all contact from them, they might get over it.'
'Pretty heartless don't you think?' I said.
'You think of something then,' she said. 'And you're talking like a robot. What's up?'
'I didn't tell you something else that happened in the house.'
'No? Seemed like a lot of drama.'
'Well, there's more to it. But less them, more me.'
'So shoot.'
'DongHae kissed me.'
'WHAT?!'
'Twice.'
'I'm going to kill you.'
'Why? It's not as if YOU like him.'
'No, but you're killing yourself Hwa. You just made yourself attached to him, and you're leaving. What were you thinking?!'
'He said he wanted to.'
'I think that's pretty obvious. But did you?'
I thought about it for a moment.
'Yea. I did.'
HyunJae sighed. 'Aren't you in trouble, missy?'
'So are you.'
"Yea, we're losers aren't we?'
It was then that I started crying.
---
The next few days passed by in a blur. Every night I dreamed of DongHae. Of KyuHyun. Of EunHyuk, SiWon, HyunJae. And of JunSu.
Nearly every dream was a nightmare.
---
'I'm really gonna miss you JaeHwa,' said JunSu.
'So will I,' I replied, swallowing hard. The day before I was going to leave Korea. I didn't want to. I never wanted this day to come, but it was here, and it was already painful. Tomorrow would be murder.
'Well, I'll just wish you all the best and all that sort of generic stuff, ok? Then I'm putting down the phone.'
'Okay.'
Silence.
'JunSu...?'
'... I can't do this.'
'I'm the one who's leaving, not you. You still have HyunJae.'
'You know that it's not the same without you.'
'Goodbye JunSu. Get a webcam, okay? And get a nice girlfriend who can make you happy.'
'I don't want one. Not now.'
'Just think of our names on that tree. Forever.'
'Forever.'
'I'm putting down the phone now.'
'You know I love you JaeHwa. Don't ever forget me.'
'Never.'
'I don't want to say this.'
'You think I do?'
'You just did. Good luck in life, and find a nice guy, right? Bye JaeHwa.'
'Bye.' Whimper.
Click.
Silence.
---
What a difference from the group I'd come to know and love. Even though they all had new, edgy hairctus, they all looked like they were attending a funeral. And I was the one in the coffin.
They were having their hugging ritual again. It seemed like an endless line of hugs, mutterings of 'All the best.', 'I'll miss you JaeHwa sshi.' and a 'Don't gooooo.....!' from SungMin. KyuHyun said nothing, but he clung to me longer than SungMin, which to me felt like an eternity.
Then it was DongHae's turn. They left him for last. The special goodbye.
'I can't do this,' said DongHae, walking into his room and slamming the door. SungMin's eyes were red.
'I'll go-' said EunHyuk, but I cut him off.
'No, I'll go,' I said, biting my lip. I opened the door. DongHae was sitting in the corner, slumped, staring blankly into space. Even in the dim light I could see that his eyes were red.
'I'm the one who's supposed to be crying,' I said softly, sitting next to him.
He turned slowly to face me, then pulled me into him. Tears pricked my eyes and I shut my eyes tightly.
'I can't believe this is happening,' he whispered.
'You think that I can?' I muttered.
'So you can't think and I can't believe. What a great couple we are,' he said, laughing shakily. I smiled despite myself.
'I bet you wanted me to come in here with you so you could say goodbye privately,' I said.
'Partly. I can't say goodbye to you in front of them. I can't say goodbye to you full stop.'
'You're going to have to.' How many times had we had this conversation?
He sighed. 'Yeah. Guess I'm going to have to get used to that.' He held me tighter. We sat in silence for a while. 'Hey JaeHwa?'
'Hmm?'
'Find a nice guy over there.'
I sat up and looked at him. 'What?'
"I mean it. You'll do better without me.'
I could see the pain in his eyes.
'Shouldn't I be saying that? You're the one who's famous.'
'But you're the one who's got her whole life ahead of her. Seriously. Find someone. I won't mind.'
'Liar!'
'Maybe we weren't meant for each other.'
I reached out and held his face in both my hands. 'You're crazy.'
He looked away. 'Sorry JaeHwa.'
I hit him on the shoulder. He stood up and walked to the door. 'DongHae, why are you doing this? You're killing yourself!' I said, feeling confused. After all, wasn't he the one who kissed me? Who didn't want to let me go?
'At least I'll die happy,' he said, smiling sadly. I slapped him across the face. I hadn't meant to. It was just an impulse. Like I could slap some sense into him. Wanting him to take back what he said. He's just being silly. He's kidding.
He grabbed my hand and I burst into tears. 'You're not going to die, why are you doing this to yourself?' I sobbed. I was turning into a very emotional person these past few days.
'Because you're the first person I met who's ever made me feel this way,' he said quietly.
'You're ending it like this?' I said incredulously. 'You're going to let me leave?'
'You're going to leave anyway,' he replied. 'Your parents are just making it easier for both of us.'
'You're sick.'
'Maybe I am.'
He pulled me forward and kissed me on the forehead. Our fingers intertwined for a moment, then he drew away.
'Goodbye JaeHwa.'
He opened the door and led me out.
'She's got to go now.'
'No....!' yelled KyuHyun. Everyone turned to look at him. He had been quiet the whole time, but he was finally letting it out. I hugged him again.
'Forget me, KyuHyun,' I said. 'It'll be easier for you.'
'Are you going to forget me?'
'No.'
'Then why should I?'
There was a last round of hugs, last tears, and then I was alone in the lift with DongHae.
'Our new album's coming out tomorrow,' he said. 'You're going to miss it.'
'It'll be on sale in Japan,' I said, not looking at him.
The lift arrived at the ground floor.
'Well, this is it,' I said. 'Bye DongHae.'
'Bye JaeHwa.'
I was almost out of the lift when I heard him say 'I love you.'
I whirled around, but the lift doors were closing. I caught a last glimpse of his sad smile, then they were gone.
I love you. They were the most confusing words in the world.
'No, KyuHyun, not yet. She still has a few days.' HyunJae pulled me into the house.
'HyunJae!' yelped EunHyuk, who was sitting on the couch. He jumped off and stared at her, looking stricken. He probably thought I'd told her about him.
'EunHyuk Oppa,' said HyunJae with a smile, stepping around the couch and hugging him.
He tensed up at first, then looked at me with a questioning look. I shook my head and pressed a finger to my lips. His expression changed to relief, and he hugged her back.
Someone hugged me from the back. 'I'm not letting you go anywhere,' said DongHae in my ear. I hung my head again, and he buried his forehead against my shoulder. I gently pried his fingers loose, then turned and faced him.
'You know I don't have a choice,' I said, squeezing his hand.
'I know. And it sucks that I can't do anything about it.'
'DongHae, you're not even supposed to be with me.'
'Still doesn't mean I can't do anything about it.' He ruffled my hair. 'Want to go outside?'
'Huh?' I said, bewildered. My face was probably in O.O mode again.
'Yeah! Do something daring!' He noticed my expression. 'Don't worry, we can wear those surgical masks or something. It's summer, it's hot, we both could be "sick" or something. Let's go to the mall!' He smiled, and I almost felt like going along with him.
'But...' I started, and he covered my mouth with his hand.
'No buts, let's go!'
'DongHae, this is crazy!'
'In case you haven't noticed, you're leaving JaeHwa. I won't see you... for a long time. Let's just break the rules for once in our lives, huh?'
That got me. 'HyunJae, I'm going out with DongHae, okay?' I said, turning to her and EunHyuk. They were both sitting on the couch, taking pictures. 'Uh, okay...' I said, my face in -.-" mode. I turned away, in time to see SiWon standing in the doorway. 'SiWon sshi...!' I said, whirling around to face DongHae, terrified.
Too late.
SiWon was looking past me, at EunHyuk and HyunJae. I thought I could almost see the vein in his neck throbbing. HyunJae whirled around at the sound of his name.
'SiWon sshi!' she said, delighted, then looked puzzled at is expression. EunHyuk stood up, putting his arm in front of her as if protecting her from SiWon. 'What... what's going on?' said HyunJae, looking from SiWon to EunHyuk. DongHae laid a hand on SiWon's arm.
'It's nothing SiWon, it's nothing, just walk away,' he murmured, trying to calm him down, which was pretty funny since SiWon was about a head taller than him. He was met with a cold stare.
'SiWon,' said EunHyuk warningly. HyunJae looked extremely puzzled, and I wished that I could do something.
'You know what? Let's go HyunJae,' I said, pulling her away from EunHyuk. He looked hurt, then shot a grateful glance at me. I spied YeSung and KangIn watching from their doorways. KyuHyun was next to DongHae. 'I'm so sorry, DongHae,' I said. He squeezed my hand reassuringly.
'That's ok, we've got time,' he said, smiling.
As we passed SiWon, he put his hand on HyunJae's shoulder. She smiled up at him.
BIG mistake.
EunHyuk jumped over the sofa and launched himself SiWon. The two of them went down in a struggling mess of limbs. And this time SiWon was fighting back.
'You don't own her, EunHyuk!' yelled SiWon.
'You have no right to touch her, none at all!' EunHyuk yelled back.
'Oh my God!' screamed HyunJae. I stood in one spot, paralyzed. I didn't know what to do. Drag HyunJae from this mess or let them clear it up for themselves. In the end, with DongHae joining in the fight, it was KyuHyun who decided what to do. He pulled us out of the doorway and into the lift, hurriedly pressing the button, his jaw set.
HyunJae sank down to the floor. 'What just happened?' she asked weakly.
'I'm so sorry HyunJae, I swear I never thought it was going to be this bad,' I said, sliding down next to her. I looked up at KyuHyun. 'What's been going on since the last time?' I asked.
'It's been pretty tense between them, but nothing's happened much.' He glanced at HyunJae. 'at least... until today.'
'JaeHwa, what the hell is going on?!' demanded HyunJae, pulling my sleeve. At the same time, the lift doors opened. We both scrambled to our feet.
'I won't go out with you, people might see me,' said KyuHyun. He drew me into a quick hug. 'Come back again JaeHwa, sorry about today. It just... wasn't supposed to work out today.'
'That's okay KyuHyun,' I said, stepping out of the lift and pulling HyunJae behind me. 'I'll be back, I promise.' I caught his smile disappear as the lift doors closed.
That was when I felt worried for what was going on upstairs.
---
'... why didn't you tell me this before?' asked HyunJae.
'I'm leaving. If I told you, I'd be leaving you with a problem to fix yourself. It would have been better if you didn't know at all,' I said, closing my eyes. I was tired. I'd been preparing to leave for almost 2 weeks now, packing the stuff I wanted, throwing away the ones I didn't. DongHae and Super Junior's pictures had taken a lot of thought on my part. I didn't know whether to keep them or throw them. In the end, I handed entire pile to HyunJae.
'Oh JaeHwa, now I know, and it's too late, what am I going to do now?' wailed HyunJae, clinging to me.
'I don't know, Jae,' I whispered, clinging back. I felt disorientated.
It still hadn't sunk in that I was going leaving, that the things that I took for granted would soon be gone.
'I think I have to stay away from them,' said HyunJae finally. 'Maybe if I cut off all contact from them, they might get over it.'
'Pretty heartless don't you think?' I said.
'You think of something then,' she said. 'And you're talking like a robot. What's up?'
'I didn't tell you something else that happened in the house.'
'No? Seemed like a lot of drama.'
'Well, there's more to it. But less them, more me.'
'So shoot.'
'DongHae kissed me.'
'WHAT?!'
'Twice.'
'I'm going to kill you.'
'Why? It's not as if YOU like him.'
'No, but you're killing yourself Hwa. You just made yourself attached to him, and you're leaving. What were you thinking?!'
'He said he wanted to.'
'I think that's pretty obvious. But did you?'
I thought about it for a moment.
'Yea. I did.'
HyunJae sighed. 'Aren't you in trouble, missy?'
'So are you.'
"Yea, we're losers aren't we?'
It was then that I started crying.
---
The next few days passed by in a blur. Every night I dreamed of DongHae. Of KyuHyun. Of EunHyuk, SiWon, HyunJae. And of JunSu.
Nearly every dream was a nightmare.
---
'I'm really gonna miss you JaeHwa,' said JunSu.
'So will I,' I replied, swallowing hard. The day before I was going to leave Korea. I didn't want to. I never wanted this day to come, but it was here, and it was already painful. Tomorrow would be murder.
'Well, I'll just wish you all the best and all that sort of generic stuff, ok? Then I'm putting down the phone.'
'Okay.'
Silence.
'JunSu...?'
'... I can't do this.'
'I'm the one who's leaving, not you. You still have HyunJae.'
'You know that it's not the same without you.'
'Goodbye JunSu. Get a webcam, okay? And get a nice girlfriend who can make you happy.'
'I don't want one. Not now.'
'Just think of our names on that tree. Forever.'
'Forever.'
'I'm putting down the phone now.'
'You know I love you JaeHwa. Don't ever forget me.'
'Never.'
'I don't want to say this.'
'You think I do?'
'You just did. Good luck in life, and find a nice guy, right? Bye JaeHwa.'
'Bye.' Whimper.
Click.
Silence.
---
What a difference from the group I'd come to know and love. Even though they all had new, edgy hairctus, they all looked like they were attending a funeral. And I was the one in the coffin.
They were having their hugging ritual again. It seemed like an endless line of hugs, mutterings of 'All the best.', 'I'll miss you JaeHwa sshi.' and a 'Don't gooooo.....!' from SungMin. KyuHyun said nothing, but he clung to me longer than SungMin, which to me felt like an eternity.
Then it was DongHae's turn. They left him for last. The special goodbye.
'I can't do this,' said DongHae, walking into his room and slamming the door. SungMin's eyes were red.
'I'll go-' said EunHyuk, but I cut him off.
'No, I'll go,' I said, biting my lip. I opened the door. DongHae was sitting in the corner, slumped, staring blankly into space. Even in the dim light I could see that his eyes were red.
'I'm the one who's supposed to be crying,' I said softly, sitting next to him.
He turned slowly to face me, then pulled me into him. Tears pricked my eyes and I shut my eyes tightly.
'I can't believe this is happening,' he whispered.
'You think that I can?' I muttered.
'So you can't think and I can't believe. What a great couple we are,' he said, laughing shakily. I smiled despite myself.
'I bet you wanted me to come in here with you so you could say goodbye privately,' I said.
'Partly. I can't say goodbye to you in front of them. I can't say goodbye to you full stop.'
'You're going to have to.' How many times had we had this conversation?
He sighed. 'Yeah. Guess I'm going to have to get used to that.' He held me tighter. We sat in silence for a while. 'Hey JaeHwa?'
'Hmm?'
'Find a nice guy over there.'
I sat up and looked at him. 'What?'
"I mean it. You'll do better without me.'
I could see the pain in his eyes.
'Shouldn't I be saying that? You're the one who's famous.'
'But you're the one who's got her whole life ahead of her. Seriously. Find someone. I won't mind.'
'Liar!'
'Maybe we weren't meant for each other.'
I reached out and held his face in both my hands. 'You're crazy.'
He looked away. 'Sorry JaeHwa.'
I hit him on the shoulder. He stood up and walked to the door. 'DongHae, why are you doing this? You're killing yourself!' I said, feeling confused. After all, wasn't he the one who kissed me? Who didn't want to let me go?
'At least I'll die happy,' he said, smiling sadly. I slapped him across the face. I hadn't meant to. It was just an impulse. Like I could slap some sense into him. Wanting him to take back what he said. He's just being silly. He's kidding.
He grabbed my hand and I burst into tears. 'You're not going to die, why are you doing this to yourself?' I sobbed. I was turning into a very emotional person these past few days.
'Because you're the first person I met who's ever made me feel this way,' he said quietly.
'You're ending it like this?' I said incredulously. 'You're going to let me leave?'
'You're going to leave anyway,' he replied. 'Your parents are just making it easier for both of us.'
'You're sick.'
'Maybe I am.'
He pulled me forward and kissed me on the forehead. Our fingers intertwined for a moment, then he drew away.
'Goodbye JaeHwa.'
He opened the door and led me out.
'She's got to go now.'
'No....!' yelled KyuHyun. Everyone turned to look at him. He had been quiet the whole time, but he was finally letting it out. I hugged him again.
'Forget me, KyuHyun,' I said. 'It'll be easier for you.'
'Are you going to forget me?'
'No.'
'Then why should I?'
There was a last round of hugs, last tears, and then I was alone in the lift with DongHae.
'Our new album's coming out tomorrow,' he said. 'You're going to miss it.'
'It'll be on sale in Japan,' I said, not looking at him.
The lift arrived at the ground floor.
'Well, this is it,' I said. 'Bye DongHae.'
'Bye JaeHwa.'
I was almost out of the lift when I heard him say 'I love you.'
I whirled around, but the lift doors were closing. I caught a last glimpse of his sad smile, then they were gone.
I love you. They were the most confusing words in the world.
21.10.09
It's You Chapter 16
"EunHyuk hyung...." said RyeoWook, breaking the silence. He stepped forward and grabbed EunHyuk's arm, but EunHyuk shook him off, staring at SiWon, who looked stricken.
"EunHyuk, it's alright, I'm sure there's an explanation for this," said DongHae, coming up behind me and grabbing EunHyuk by the shoulders.
"And I'm sure there's an explanation to why you're so angry at him," added KiBum. DongHae gently pushed EunHyuk away from SiWon, but he too was pushed away.
"I asked you a question SiWon," he said in a low voice. I could see that he was extremely stressed and I think that I was the only one in the room apart from EunHyuk himself who knew why.
"I..." said SiWon, looking scared. It was pretty funny to see tall, buff SiWon looking scared, especially when he seemed like the serious one in the group.
"EunHyuk," I said, stepping forward. SungMin pulled me back by the arm, and I caught DongHae giving him a grateful glance over my head.
"Don't JaeHwa, you never know what might happen," whispered HanKyung in my ear. I could feel him and SungMin tense up, ready to spring forward if a fight erupted. Of course they would be able to stop a fight with their martial arts... or kick some serious butt if they wanted to.
"SiWon, I'm asking you again," said EunHyuk, and I could see fire in his eyes. I had never in my life seen him so angry, not even when he was being annoyed by DongHae, and I felt scared. "Why do you have HyunJae's number?"
Say something SiWon, anything, just say something, I pleaded in my head. I stared at him, trying to channel my message, willing myself to become psychic just for these few seconds. EunHyuk was flanked by DongHae and YeSung, who both looked troubled.
SiWon was silent.
One thing I knew for certain, I was never going to get a job at the psychic hot line.
"EUNHYUK, NO!" yelled LeeTeuk and HeeChul as EunHyuk launched himself at SiWon. Even the combined efforts of DongHae and YeSung weren't enough to hold him back. I screamed. I didn't mean to, I wasn't a screaming sort of person, but it just popped out of my mouth. KyuHyun pulled me backwards out of the circle.
"KangIn hyung!" screamed RyeoWook, as EunHyuk punched SiWon, knocking him backwards. ShinDong and KangIn pulled EunHyuk back, but he wrenched himself free and attacked SiWon again, hitting him in every possible place he could reach, which was mostly his body and face.
"EunHyuk, stop!" I couldn't stop myself from yelling. It was too much.
"Stay away from her...!" panted EunHyuk, as he was dragged back by the combined forces of ShinDong, KangIn, DongHae and SungMin. HanKyung and KiBum helped SiWon up. I could see a little blood on the corner of his mouth. He staggered a bit, looking dazed.
"EunHyuk, stop it!" ordered LeeTeuk, pushing him back against the wall. "What were you thinking, have you gone crazy? If anyone hears of this, you're dead! Your career would be over!"
"I don't care, it's already over!" yelled EunHyuk, his eyes welling with tears. He glared at SiWon angrily. KyuHyun kept his hand on my shoulder.
"What do you mean it's over, don't be stupid!" said DongHae, glancing at me and then pulling LeeTeuk aside to stand in front of EunHyuk. "Nothing's even happened, what are you talking about?"
EunHyuk hung his head, his chest heaving. A tense silence descended over us again. SiWon sat on the floor with his hands over his head, YeSung and HanKyung crouching over him. After an eternity of a few minutes, EunHyuk looked up.
"You really want to know?" he said, looking at DongHae defiantly. "It's easy for you DongHae, you've already got it, you have no idea what I'm going through..."
"What?" asked DongHae, bewildered. "What have I got that you don't?"
"JaeHwa! You've got JaeHwa!"
Stunned silence.
"EunHyuk... are you in love with JaeHwa sshi...?" said KiBum tentatively.
I held my breath. I knew that he wasn't. But EunHyuk wasn't used to spilling out his feelings, not even with DongHae. What would he say...?
"No, dammit!" said EunHyuk angrily. "I'm in love with HyunJae!" He pointed at SiWon, is hand shaking. "And you knew, SiWon, you knew!"
SiWon stood up a bit shakily but walked towards us.
"I'm really sorry EunHyuk... but I like her too."
---
"WHAT?!" HyunJae screamed in my ear.
I cringed. I'd expected this. "Sorry, HyunJae..."
"You've got to be kidding me! Japan?! That's like another world! What are your parents thinking of?!"
I sighed and flopped backwards on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I cradled the phone next to my ear. "I have no idea, but apparently it's for my own... safety."
'Come on, there's JunSu and me! And DongHae! And the rest of Super Junior, not that your parents know about them being there for you, but still! JunSu and I are pretty good bodyguards, aren't we?"
No kidding I thought, smiling. Following me around like devoted pets, glaring at other people for me, there were no other bodyguards like them. But all I said was "You know them... once they think of something, they're not going to let it go easily."
I heard HyunJae sigh. "At least tell me when you're leaving. So we can have a small get-together or something."
"What, a get-together with you, me and JunSu?" I teased. It was true that I had a few other friends, but most girls had been avoiding me for various reasons. "Anyway, don't worry, I won't be going til after holidays."
"Hey, you me and JunSu isn't such a bad thing, you know," replied HyunJae. "Now it's just gonna be JunSu and me when you leave. God, people are going to think we're a couple."
You're forgetting EunHyuk and SiWon, I thought. I remembered a few hours ago how EunHyuk had punched SiWon, confessed his love for HyunJae, and then stared in disbelief as SiWon confessed as well. Ah, the drama of being a boy. Then I remembered how KyuHyun and DongHae had sworn me to secrecy, but I admit that I hadn't planned on telling HyunJae anyway.
"Haha, I don't think so, don't we all know how much JunSu loves me and only me," I said jokingly. HyunJae laughed.
"Yea, because he's hopelessly devoted to protecting you from psychos," she said. Someone called her name in the background. "Look babe, I've got to go, but I'll see you in school tomorrow. I want to know what YOUR reaction was. Bye...!" The phone clicked and I was alone with silence.
I wondered if HyunJae really wanted to know my reaction.
I mean, taking a bus to nowhere, running in the rain, kissing DongHae, front row tickets to a Super Junior fight.... I don't think that's her idea of reacting to devastating news. Maybe I'd hold back the Super Junior parts.
---
JunSu's reaction in school was possibly worse than HyunJae's and Super Junior's put together. Telling them was hard, but telling JunSu was even harder. I mean, we had this sort of connection, nothing in the romantic way, but we were kind of like brother and sister. Seeing the shocked expression on his face give way to bewilderment was painful.
"Why...?" he asked quietly. "I mean, I'm sure I've been a pretty good bodyguard, I'm always there for you, I mean, I don't-"
"JunSu, it's not you," I said, feeling terrible.
"Yea, it's not me either, so don't blame any of us," said HyunJae from her position on the tree branch. I looked at her. "I'm trying to make him feel better ok?"
I looked back at JunSu. He sat down on the grass, leaning against the tree, staring into space. I sat down next to him. HyunJae slipped off the tree and sat on his other side. The three of us were silent for a while.
JunSu suddenly took my hand and HyunJae's, and held them out in front of us.
"Look, whatever happens, we'll always be best friends right?" he said. He looked at me, and I looked back.
"Even if the world ends," I replied. He turned to look at HyunJae.
"Even if it's the last day on earth," she said, and I saw her squeeze his hand. I wondered how EunHyuk would react if he saw this.
JunSu stood up and pulled us both to our feet. "I feel like doing something rebellious," he said, smiling. "You two are so goody-goody." He brought out a penknife.
"Hey!" protested HyunJae. "I'm so not goody-goody!" She grabbed the penknife from JunSu. "Let's carve our names on the tree!"
"And it'll be there forever," I said. They both looked at me.
"Forever's a long time," said JunSu softly. HyunJae put her hand on the tree, looking up at it.
"But as long as this tree stands, our names will forever be on it," I said. She nodded, then carved her name quickly. She handed the knife to JunSu, who carved his name underneath. He gave it to me, I gently pushed the blade into the trunk.
"Let's try not to make it scream, huh?" I said softly. Suddenly JunSu and HyunJae had their arms around me.
"You're a weirdo Lee JaeHwa, and I love you," said HyunJae, burying her head in my shoulder.
I looked up at JunSu.
"No worries, I love you too," he said, smiling.
I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
"EunHyuk, it's alright, I'm sure there's an explanation for this," said DongHae, coming up behind me and grabbing EunHyuk by the shoulders.
"And I'm sure there's an explanation to why you're so angry at him," added KiBum. DongHae gently pushed EunHyuk away from SiWon, but he too was pushed away.
"I asked you a question SiWon," he said in a low voice. I could see that he was extremely stressed and I think that I was the only one in the room apart from EunHyuk himself who knew why.
"I..." said SiWon, looking scared. It was pretty funny to see tall, buff SiWon looking scared, especially when he seemed like the serious one in the group.
"EunHyuk," I said, stepping forward. SungMin pulled me back by the arm, and I caught DongHae giving him a grateful glance over my head.
"Don't JaeHwa, you never know what might happen," whispered HanKyung in my ear. I could feel him and SungMin tense up, ready to spring forward if a fight erupted. Of course they would be able to stop a fight with their martial arts... or kick some serious butt if they wanted to.
"SiWon, I'm asking you again," said EunHyuk, and I could see fire in his eyes. I had never in my life seen him so angry, not even when he was being annoyed by DongHae, and I felt scared. "Why do you have HyunJae's number?"
Say something SiWon, anything, just say something, I pleaded in my head. I stared at him, trying to channel my message, willing myself to become psychic just for these few seconds. EunHyuk was flanked by DongHae and YeSung, who both looked troubled.
SiWon was silent.
One thing I knew for certain, I was never going to get a job at the psychic hot line.
"EUNHYUK, NO!" yelled LeeTeuk and HeeChul as EunHyuk launched himself at SiWon. Even the combined efforts of DongHae and YeSung weren't enough to hold him back. I screamed. I didn't mean to, I wasn't a screaming sort of person, but it just popped out of my mouth. KyuHyun pulled me backwards out of the circle.
"KangIn hyung!" screamed RyeoWook, as EunHyuk punched SiWon, knocking him backwards. ShinDong and KangIn pulled EunHyuk back, but he wrenched himself free and attacked SiWon again, hitting him in every possible place he could reach, which was mostly his body and face.
"EunHyuk, stop!" I couldn't stop myself from yelling. It was too much.
"Stay away from her...!" panted EunHyuk, as he was dragged back by the combined forces of ShinDong, KangIn, DongHae and SungMin. HanKyung and KiBum helped SiWon up. I could see a little blood on the corner of his mouth. He staggered a bit, looking dazed.
"EunHyuk, stop it!" ordered LeeTeuk, pushing him back against the wall. "What were you thinking, have you gone crazy? If anyone hears of this, you're dead! Your career would be over!"
"I don't care, it's already over!" yelled EunHyuk, his eyes welling with tears. He glared at SiWon angrily. KyuHyun kept his hand on my shoulder.
"What do you mean it's over, don't be stupid!" said DongHae, glancing at me and then pulling LeeTeuk aside to stand in front of EunHyuk. "Nothing's even happened, what are you talking about?"
EunHyuk hung his head, his chest heaving. A tense silence descended over us again. SiWon sat on the floor with his hands over his head, YeSung and HanKyung crouching over him. After an eternity of a few minutes, EunHyuk looked up.
"You really want to know?" he said, looking at DongHae defiantly. "It's easy for you DongHae, you've already got it, you have no idea what I'm going through..."
"What?" asked DongHae, bewildered. "What have I got that you don't?"
"JaeHwa! You've got JaeHwa!"
Stunned silence.
"EunHyuk... are you in love with JaeHwa sshi...?" said KiBum tentatively.
I held my breath. I knew that he wasn't. But EunHyuk wasn't used to spilling out his feelings, not even with DongHae. What would he say...?
"No, dammit!" said EunHyuk angrily. "I'm in love with HyunJae!" He pointed at SiWon, is hand shaking. "And you knew, SiWon, you knew!"
SiWon stood up a bit shakily but walked towards us.
"I'm really sorry EunHyuk... but I like her too."
---
"WHAT?!" HyunJae screamed in my ear.
I cringed. I'd expected this. "Sorry, HyunJae..."
"You've got to be kidding me! Japan?! That's like another world! What are your parents thinking of?!"
I sighed and flopped backwards on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I cradled the phone next to my ear. "I have no idea, but apparently it's for my own... safety."
'Come on, there's JunSu and me! And DongHae! And the rest of Super Junior, not that your parents know about them being there for you, but still! JunSu and I are pretty good bodyguards, aren't we?"
No kidding I thought, smiling. Following me around like devoted pets, glaring at other people for me, there were no other bodyguards like them. But all I said was "You know them... once they think of something, they're not going to let it go easily."
I heard HyunJae sigh. "At least tell me when you're leaving. So we can have a small get-together or something."
"What, a get-together with you, me and JunSu?" I teased. It was true that I had a few other friends, but most girls had been avoiding me for various reasons. "Anyway, don't worry, I won't be going til after holidays."
"Hey, you me and JunSu isn't such a bad thing, you know," replied HyunJae. "Now it's just gonna be JunSu and me when you leave. God, people are going to think we're a couple."
You're forgetting EunHyuk and SiWon, I thought. I remembered a few hours ago how EunHyuk had punched SiWon, confessed his love for HyunJae, and then stared in disbelief as SiWon confessed as well. Ah, the drama of being a boy. Then I remembered how KyuHyun and DongHae had sworn me to secrecy, but I admit that I hadn't planned on telling HyunJae anyway.
"Haha, I don't think so, don't we all know how much JunSu loves me and only me," I said jokingly. HyunJae laughed.
"Yea, because he's hopelessly devoted to protecting you from psychos," she said. Someone called her name in the background. "Look babe, I've got to go, but I'll see you in school tomorrow. I want to know what YOUR reaction was. Bye...!" The phone clicked and I was alone with silence.
I wondered if HyunJae really wanted to know my reaction.
I mean, taking a bus to nowhere, running in the rain, kissing DongHae, front row tickets to a Super Junior fight.... I don't think that's her idea of reacting to devastating news. Maybe I'd hold back the Super Junior parts.
---
JunSu's reaction in school was possibly worse than HyunJae's and Super Junior's put together. Telling them was hard, but telling JunSu was even harder. I mean, we had this sort of connection, nothing in the romantic way, but we were kind of like brother and sister. Seeing the shocked expression on his face give way to bewilderment was painful.
"Why...?" he asked quietly. "I mean, I'm sure I've been a pretty good bodyguard, I'm always there for you, I mean, I don't-"
"JunSu, it's not you," I said, feeling terrible.
"Yea, it's not me either, so don't blame any of us," said HyunJae from her position on the tree branch. I looked at her. "I'm trying to make him feel better ok?"
I looked back at JunSu. He sat down on the grass, leaning against the tree, staring into space. I sat down next to him. HyunJae slipped off the tree and sat on his other side. The three of us were silent for a while.
JunSu suddenly took my hand and HyunJae's, and held them out in front of us.
"Look, whatever happens, we'll always be best friends right?" he said. He looked at me, and I looked back.
"Even if the world ends," I replied. He turned to look at HyunJae.
"Even if it's the last day on earth," she said, and I saw her squeeze his hand. I wondered how EunHyuk would react if he saw this.
JunSu stood up and pulled us both to our feet. "I feel like doing something rebellious," he said, smiling. "You two are so goody-goody." He brought out a penknife.
"Hey!" protested HyunJae. "I'm so not goody-goody!" She grabbed the penknife from JunSu. "Let's carve our names on the tree!"
"And it'll be there forever," I said. They both looked at me.
"Forever's a long time," said JunSu softly. HyunJae put her hand on the tree, looking up at it.
"But as long as this tree stands, our names will forever be on it," I said. She nodded, then carved her name quickly. She handed the knife to JunSu, who carved his name underneath. He gave it to me, I gently pushed the blade into the trunk.
"Let's try not to make it scream, huh?" I said softly. Suddenly JunSu and HyunJae had their arms around me.
"You're a weirdo Lee JaeHwa, and I love you," said HyunJae, burying her head in my shoulder.
I looked up at JunSu.
"No worries, I love you too," he said, smiling.
I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
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