It's You Chapter 23

"Dramatic much, Teukie hyung?" remarked HeeChul, who was hanging around the corridor with KangIn. "Hello, JaeHwa!" He smiled, then glanced at HyunJae. "Umm, sorry about that just now..." he apologized. "It was the... shock."
"Hello HeeChul oppa," I said, giving him a small hug. To be totally honest, I found HeeChul a bit scary and weird sometimes, but oh well, who cared. KangIn hugged me too.
"We'll be going back out soon, so don't get too comfortable," he warned me, as LeeTeuk pulled me down the corridor. Even though I'd already seen them, we still knocked on every Super Junior door (because they took up almost the entire corridor) so I could get my hugs. There was one room he pulled me straight past, and I had a feeling that it was DongHae's.
"Don't want to go there, it'll be awkward," he said, reading my thoughts. "KiBum isn't here, so there's actually an equal number of people in a room, for once."
"Who are you rooming with, oppa?" I asked.
"DongHae," he replied with a slight smile. "So there really isn't any need to go into that room, since I'm with you."
"Hmm, yeah, I guess."
LeeTeuk gave me a card to the room next to his. "This is where you're staying, with HyunJae sshi," he said. "It's just pure coincidence you're next to DongHae, I hope you don't mind?"
"Oh, no, it's no problem, really," I said, taking the card. "Can I tell you something, LeeTeuk oppa?"
"Of course! You can tell me anything."
"The only reason I'm really here is to... be with DongHae," I said, toying with the card in my hands.
"Aah," replied LeeTeuk, pressing his lips together. "Well Jae-"
"But," I added, and he stopped talking. "I'm glad I'm came, even if nothing might happen between DongHae and me. Because I got to spend time with you guys again, and that's maybe more important. I missed you guys alot."
LeeTeuk smiled slightly. "We missed you too, JaeHwa. And we'll try and make something work with DongHae. Don't worry about it."
"Umm, I don't think that's necessary, really."
He laughed. "We'll see what happens, huh?"
"LeeTeuk oppa, please don't do anything to him," I said, feeling like I shouldn't have said anything to us. He ruffled my hair.
"I did say don't worry right?" he said, then opened the door of his room. "See you in an hour, JaeHwa. Get some rest, alright? You look like you need it." The door closed. I slid the card into the door and opened it. Inside was breathtakingly beautiful. Modern, clean lines. Just the sort of style I liked. I flopped down on one of the beds, savoring the air-conditioning.
The door opened. "Wow," said HyunJae, standing in the doorway. "I could get used to traveling with Super Junior."
"You're not even traveling with them, it just so happens you're in the same country as them," I replied, not bothering to open my eyes. "But I really like this, I don't have to feel guilty about using air-conditioning because I'm not paying for it!"
"And you wouldn't personally be polluting the air?" added HyunJae, curling up on the other bed.
"That too. Because we all know that hotel air-conditioning can't be switched off." We both laughed, then lapsed into silence, thinking. Well, I was thinking. I don't know about HyunJae, she had no worries in the world anymore. EunHyuk had gotten rid of all her problems in a matter of seconds. I felt happy for her, but I still had my own problems to take care of.
"Hey, JaeHwa?"
"Hmm?"
"You know, when you kissed DongHae, did it feel like there was no one in the room but you and him?"
"Well, there WAS no one in the room but me and him," I replied.

Flashback:
And then.
And then.
And then my left arm was pulled back and I was whirled around with force and I was face to face with DongHae.
"Not until I do this," he said, and then he quickly kissed me on the lips. I didn't even have time to close my eyes or react in any way, just felt his lips rest softly on mine for a second, and then they were gone.

"And it was a totally different situation," I added softly. I still remembered the shock, the bewilderment, and then the ensuing happiness. What had happened to us?
"Yea," sighed HyunJae. "Sorry I asked."
"No, you had a perfect right to." I stared at the ceiling, reminiscing. DongHae was closer to me than he had been in a year, yet we had never been further apart. Was this all a mistake?
No, said a voice in my head. You're spending the day with all the guys that you love the best, you've made lots of mistakes in your life, and this is definitely NOT one. I smiled a little at that thought.
"JaeHwa, do you mind if I go out to meet EunHyuk at the swimming pool?" asked HyunJae tentatively.
"Why are you asking me?" I asked, smiling. "I don't own your life, you're allowed to do what you want."
"Just wondered if it make you feel bad."
"What kind of person do you think I am, HyunJae? Go...! I'm gonna take a nap, I'm exhausted."
"Haha. Considering you just had one..."
"Go away."
She got up and opened the door. "Call me if you need anything, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "Sure, I'll call you from my dreams."
She laughed and left.

I was alone. In a room right next to DongHae. I jumped lightly off the bed and pressed my ear against the wall. Silence. Maybe LeeTeuk had gone back out...?
"You know you miss her, DongHae."
That was definitely not LeeTeuk. It was... SiWon?
"And she missed you too." That was SungMin.
"And you HAVE to stop denying it." That was YeSung.
How many guys were in that room?!
Then I remembered the first time I'd eavesdropped on them. They were telling DongHae off for being with me. Now they were trying to get him with me? Ironic. I nearly burst out laughing right there and then. I was becoming very good at pressing my ear to walls/doors.
"Stop bugging him, hyung." THAT was KyuHyun. I nearly died on the spot. If I heard one more voice and it wasn't DongHae, I'd have to start calculating how big their room was. "He really doesn't need this right now."
"Thank you, KyuHyun." FINALLY. It was DongHae. But he was so quiet. So unlike him.
"Well, not really, because I'm going to be straight to the point and say that you still like her. So what are you waiting for?"
I smacked my head in frustration. KyuHyun was SO tactless sometimes.
"Whose side are you on?" said DongHae, and I could almost imagine his -.-" expression.
"My own," replied KyuHyun. There was a slight thump right next to my ear, and a squeal. Then I heard panting. It was right across me. Was someone being pinned against the wall? Someone started making high-pitched noises.
"Whose side are you on now?" demanded DongHae. KyuHyun was laughing.
"Sopt tickling him, hyung, he'll die soon, I mean look at his face," said SiWon.
"No, wait, I've to get a picture of his face!" said SungMin.
"Here, use my phone," said YeSung.
"Nooo....!" protested KyuHyun feebly.
I pulled away from the wall. Seriously, could they take anything seriously without clowning around for a moment? But at least DongHae sounded normal. Was he acting before? Or was he acting now? It was so hard to tell through a wall. I heard a low buzz of voices and pressed my ear back to the wall.
"... okay, let's go! KiBum hyung's asleep, and no-one will know it's us!" SungMin sounded excited.
"Seriously you two, do you have nothing better to do?" asked YeSung.
"Come on YeSung hyung, you know you want to relive your childhood," said DongHae, and I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled too. "If you had a childhood, at least."
"Have you not seen my baby pictures flying around the internet?" demanded YeSung.
"Yeah, but you might have been a 23 year old stuck in a toddler's body," said SiWon innocently. The others laughed.
"Well, sorry if I'm too mature for you people. Come on KyuHyun, let's leave the babies to their fun."
"Aww KyuHyun, don't go. I'll tickle you again."
"Umm, well, YeSung hyung is kinda right..."
"WHAT?!"
"Hyaaaa!"
"No, no...! Get off me, DongHae hyung! SungMin hyung, give me back my shoe! YeSung hyung, help!"
"I think I'll pass, KyuHyun."
"Even after I backed you up?!"
"Yeah, changed my mind, I'd rather be immature again."
"Haishh!! Aaaaargh!"
Racous laughter emitted from the room. So much for a mature conversation. After all that had happened, they were still as lovable as ever. Sigh. I knew that if I ever wanted to let them go, I wouldn't be able to.
I pulled myself away from the wall and left them to it.
---
"Alright guys, don't get lost and try not to attract too much attention," instructed KiBum, Super Juniors' manager. "See you all back here at 8, no later. And EunHyuk and ShinDong, try not to eat nothing but junk food."
"Aww KiBum hyung, that's what Japan's famous for!" argued EunHyuk.
"No, you'll get pimples. Do you want to ruin your complexion? No junk food and that's final. See you at 8."
"You make me sound like someone who cares about my looks," muttered EunHyuk. "We all get pimples every now and then."
"Aww, EunHyuk oppa, don't worry about him, you can always eat my junk food for me," said HyunJae with a devilish smile. "After all, it wouldn't be yours personally."
EunHyuk smiled. "What would I do without you, HyunJae."
"You were without her for a year, you know," said HanKyung, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well, shut up HanKyung hyung."
HanKyung looked at him quizzically. "Sorry, I'm a foreigner, I don't understand what you just said."
I laughed along with the others. HanKyung was always using that excuse. And they never had a comeback for it, no matter how many times he had used it.
"Let's go ice-skating!" said SungMin, waving his arms around excitedly.
"SungMin, it's the middle of summer," said KangIn with a -.-" expression on his face. "And in case you haven't noticed, you're wearing a t-shirt, pirate pants and slippers. I don't think they'd let you in."
"There aren't any, anyway," I said. They all turned to look at me. "Not now, anyway."
"Okay JaeHwa, it's your city now, why don't you take us around?" suggested HeeChul cheerfully, but I cringed slightly at the thought of Tokyo being 'my city.'
SiWon noticed my cringe. "He doesn't mean that you're not part of Korea anymore, but you know... you've lived here for a while."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "But it still hasn't sunk in that I'm really living here."
"Well... where do you think we should go?" asked RyeoWook in a small voice, breaking the silence.
I smiled. "Do you guys feel like seeing some weird fashion?" I asked. "It's pretty weird, but I think you'll like it. And we can take pictures."
I was met with a chorus of "Oooh", "Hmmm", and "Let's go!"
"Are there any good restaurants?" asked ShinDong.
"Is that all you care about?!" exclaimed HeeChul, wide eyed.
"Don't worry ShinDong oppa, there are some pretty good roadside stalls. And I know a really good okonomiyaki shop."
"Okay, let's go!" said LeeTeuk, being the leader as usual, making the decisions for them.
We caught the shinkansen to Harajuku.
---
"Good night everyone. And I mean it, go to sleep." LeeTeuk entered his room and closed the door. DongHae hadn't been with him. Not before, not after. Where was he? Ah, never mind, not like he wasn't allowed to be somewhere around the hotel. I went into my room and pulled out my pajamas. HyunJae was in the shower.
"Hey, HyunJae," I called out, knocking on the door.
"Yeah?" She yelled back over the sound of falling water.
"I'm going for a walk, don't wait up for me."
"Alright, don't get lost."

I took the lift downstairs and made my way to the outdoor swimming pool. It was 9pm and dark. But I liked it. A cool breeze blew through my hair, and I didn't feel so warm anymore. This was my favourite part of the day. When we first arrived I used to sit up at the window and let the wind blow into my room, cooling it down after a hot day. I'd also drop everything from my mind, just letting the wind blow it away.
But I couldn't let it blow away tonight.
There was someone sitting on the ground, back to me, facing the city. The swimming pool was on the 5th floor, and the barrier was quite low and made of glass, so the city lights were visible. It was really pretty. And it definitely wasn't a place to bring children. I stood away from the "barrier" because I had a fear of falling off balconies and buildings. I mean, I was such a klutz, anything could happen.
My hair was blowing over my face because the wind was coming from behind me, but I let it. As long as I could just watch the lights, nothing else mattered.
Until, at least, I sneaked a peek at the figure in front of me.
I could see that he was quite good-looking, even though his fringe and hair were blowing into his face like mine. I smiled to myself, then turned back to the lights. Then I did a double take.
It was DongHae.
He was sitting with his knees up to his chest, head resting on his knees. He looked so vulnerable and lonely that I felt like going up to him and giving him a hug. But I knew that I'd never do that. Not ever.
He must have felt my presence there at that moment, or maybe he felt my eyes boring into the side of his face, because he turned to look at me, and his mouth dropped open a little in shock. He staggered to his feet, pulling himself up by the barrier. He looked like he was going to fall over the stupid so-called barrier, and I nearly screamed out in terror. But he stood there, looking at me, and I looked back.
An eternity passed.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," I said, then bowed lightly before taking a step backward and turning around.
"...JaeHwa, wait," said DongHae, and I felt him catch hold of my elbow. I turned to face him, shocked, and was aware that my face was a teeny bit closer to his than before.
"Do you remember the last time you caught hold of me like this?" I suddenly asked him, prising his fingers free. "You kissed me after that. You kissed me when you knew that I was leaving. When you knew you were going to break it off after that." I stepped backward so that there was some breathing space between us.
"I know," said DongHae. He reached out and managed to grab hold of my hand as I was turning to run.
"Let go of me, DongHae!" I said, tears stinging my eyes. I tried to shake myself free, but he was too strong. "You've let go of me once, you can do it again! In fact, you're still disconnected from me, and that's what you wanted."
"Listen to me JaeHwa!" said DongHae, holding my arms so I couldn't struggle. He looked around, then pulled me to the side of the building, hidden in shrubbery. He pinned me against the wall. I stared at him defiantly. Why was I acting like this? I still wanted him, so why was I acting like I didn't? What's wong with you, stupid?! My heart yelled at my brain.
"Why are you doing this, DongHae?" I asked pathetically.
"Because I love you, JaeHwa. I loved you from the moment I met you, when I gave you that concussion. When you came to visit KyuHyun on the night of the accident. When you went into the hospital because of me. When you said you were leaving." His breath was ragged. He was shaking a little, and he dropped his head.
"But you still said goodbye," I whispered, trying to make sense of it all. I hadn't expected a confession. But then again, what was I expecting?
"I thought it make it hurt a little less. I thought it might be easier for you to forget me, for me to forget you." He raised his head and stared into my eyes. "But you know what? I've never stopped loving you. And when EunHyuk did what he did in the Nippon Budokan, I knew that I had to do something. I'm the outgoing one, but he still did that. And I admire him for that."
"Is that why you have me pinned to a wall, surrounded with trees and flowers and nothing but a low glass barrier separating you and me from falling to our deaths to the city below?" I asked. I was shaking too, but I was genuinely scared. Because I knew that if he slipped, he would fall and nothing would save him.
"Are you scared?" whispered DongHae. I nodded. He enveloped me in his arms, and clung to me tightly. I closed my eyes, my head resting on his shoulder. "You have no idea how much I wanted to do this when I saw you in the Nippon Budokan," he murmured in my ear.
There was a swinging seat near us. He pulled me there and sat me down. "You're treating me like a child," I said, pouting. He sat down next to me and touched my face. I stopped pouting.
"Give me a chance, I've only got tonight and tomorrow with you," he said, pushing back a strand of stray hair from my face. I felt my heart melting.
"Yea, and then it's goodbye again," I said, looking away.
He gently pulled my face around to face him. "But we're talking about now, when tomorrow comes, it comes."
I stayed silent.

"Meanwhile, all I want to do now is this," he said, his hand at the back of my neck. My heart started beating like crazy. When was the last time it had beaten like this? Was it really a year ago? I moved my head a little closer to his. He smiled slightly. We were so close now. I closed my eyes, and before I knew it, I felt his lips on mine. They were soft, undemanding, like a butterfly resting.
I had one hand behind his head, and another on his back. He had both arms wrapped around my waist. I was smiling at the same time, this was the best moment in my entire life. He was really gentle, nothing too aggressive or forceful, and I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I also felt like my insides were melting.
Was it possible to float and melt at the same time?
"What is this strange hold you have on me, Lee JaeHwa," he murmured, lips still pressed against mine.
"You know you love me Lee DongHae," I replied, smiling.
"Yeah," he said. "I do."