It's You Chapter 15

I had no idea where I was running to. I waited at a bus stop and boarded it without even knowing where it was going. There were only a few people sitting around, and I took a back seat, staring out the window, but not seeing anything. The world seemed gray, colorless. I was too lost in my own thoughts, too lost in seeing in my head the people that I might never see again.
DongHae's face stood out from the rest.
It started to rain, and it felt like the sky was crying when I couldn't.
"Miss, it's the last stop," said the driver, and I looked up. I was the only one left on the bus. I hurriedly stood up, and got off. I looked around and found that I was standing outside a very familiar looking shopping center.
Had it been a complete coincidence that I had taken the bus that led me here?
I stood there, wearing shorts, sneakers and a hoodie, and I was getting drenched.
But I was smiling.
And, at the same time, I was crying.
People passed me by, and they probably thought I was weird, but I couldn't care less about them. Fate had led me to this place, and there was only one person it led to.
Once again, I took off running. Tears were streaming down my face, but they were mixed with the rain, so maybe they weren't really my tears. All I know is that I was alone on the streets, running to a place that I'd only been to three times.
I didn't even think of slowing down. The need to tell someone about my departure was rising in me, until I couldn't feel anything anymore except the rain on my skin, couldn't hear anything except the beating of my heart.
The elevator couldn't be any slower. I paced around, crossed my arms, waited.
The doors opened.
"JaeHwa...!" KyuHyun exclaimed upon opening the door and finding me there. He looked delighted, then his expression changed into concern. "What's wrong?" He pulled me into the flat.
"JaeHwa!" yelped SungMin like a happy puppy, pulling me into a hug. He pulled away quickly. "You're drenched!" he said, shocked. "Have you been running in the rain?"
"SungMin, where's DongHae?" I said desperately. I didn't feel like answering questions now.
"He's in his room.... JaeHwa sshi, wha-?" replied LeeTeuk, but I pushed past him and the others gently, walking to DongHae and SungMin's room. SiWon and EunHyuk followed me, and even LeeTeuk was there. I knocked.
"Uhh, he just had a shower, so I think he's changing," said EunHyuk nervously.
"Hang on!" yelled DongHae from inside. His voice was muffled through the door.
It seemed like a hilarious situation, but I didn't feel like laughing.
"DongHae, it's me!" I said, knocking again. I heard quick footsteps, then the door opened.
His hair was wet and he was wearing a singlet, shirt and three quarter pants, with a towel around his neck.
I watched his eyes grow big.
We all stayed like that for a few seconds, silent, until I stepped into the room, and then EunHyuk reached in and closed the door behind me. I locked it. I didn't want anyone barging in.
"JaeHwa... what are you doing here?" DongHae asked, sounding a bit bewildered.
I burst into tears and ran to him, flinging my arms around his neck.

"JaeHwa, what's wrong?" he whispered, but he didn't resist. I didn't reply, just buried my head in the space between his neck and shoulder and clung tighter to him. He pulled away and sat me down on the bed, then sat next to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. We faced each other. It was almost like the first time when I stayed over, only this wasn't at night and I felt anything like sleeping.
"Hmm... would you rather cry or tell me what's going on first?" he asked, and I laughed a little, though it sounded a bit strangled.
"I'm moving to Japan," I managed to say.
Silence.
"I'm moving to Japan....!" I repeated almost hysterically. Maybe if I said it enough, I might wake up and realise that it was all a big lie. I didn't look at him, as much as I wanted to. I wanted to see shock on his face, but I knew that if there was no expression, I'd be disappointed.
So I didn't look up.
But I still heard his reaction.
"No..." he said quietly. "You're kidding, right?" He shook me gently by the shoulders, and I could feel his hands shaking. I almost started smiling then, but then he grabbed my chin and tilted my face up to his. "JaeHwa... tell me you're joking," he said, his eyes boring into mine.
I held his gaze, and it was purely intense.
"I wish I was, DongHae," I whispered. He looked stricken, then a look of agony crossed his face. He closed his eyes, hanging his head forward. A single tear fell from my right eye. "It's not my decision, you know I'd never leave if I had a choice," I said, my voice cracking.
"Then you don't have a choice...?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. "You know that we always have choices in life, no matter what, JaeHwa."
A second tear slipped down.
"Not when my parents are coming with me," I said. "DongHae, I'm leaving. There'll be nothing of me left in this city. I'll fade out of existence after I leave." I started to get up. He looked up at me in disbelief.
"What are you doing, Hwa?" he said.
"I don't know why I came here. I don't know what the point of it was. You can't stop me going and I can't stop myself from leaving. And it'll be easier for you to just forget me, forget about all of this. You're a superstar DongHae... I'm a nobody," I replied, my voice cracking again. I had no idea where the words came from, they just spilled out. "Maybe it'll be better for you... to forget I ever existed." Silence. I turned away from his pained gaze with huge effort. "Goodbye DongHae... oppa." Tears fell from my eyes and I took a step forward.
And then.
And then.
And then my left arm was pulled back and I was whirled around with force and I was face to face with DongHae.
"Not until I do this," he said, and then he quickly kissed me on the lips. I didn't even have time to close my eyes or react in any way, just felt his lips rest softly on mine for a second, and then they were gone.

We stood like that for a while, face to face, his hands on my shoulders, staring at each other. My mind was having a race with my heart to see which could react faster. Leave, JaeHwa, leave! This isn't doing you any good! said my mind. Stay, JaeHwa, see what he does next said my heart.
For once, I listened to my heart.
"What...." I stammered, covering my mouth with my left hand. I was blushing hard. "I... you...uh..." I was totally flabbergasted. Another tear slipped down my cheek. "Oh my God, my tear glands must have lost their resistance or something," I said, wiping it away. I couldn't have felt less like crying. But I'd started blabbering, like I usually did when I was nervous. Was I nervous? Or was this insane euphoria? No idea.
DongHae cracked a smile and sat me back down on the bed. A silence descended over us.
"You... you just took my first kiss...!" was all I managed to say, indignantly.
He smiled even more. "Good," he said.
"I don't know about you, but I'm shaking," I said. This was insane. He had kissed me, and I was cracking lame jokes and comments like there was no tomorrow.
"JaeHwa," said DongHae, placing his hand over mine. I immediately shut up. "If you're just shaking, I'm terrified."
"But... you kissed me," I said. "You can't be so scared to be able do that."
"Oh yea?" said DongHae. He picked up my hand and placed it on his chest, under his shirt, over his heart and singlet. I could feel his heartbeat through my fingers. It was almost beating as hard as mine, if not faster. His hand was over mine. His face was so close to mine. And it was getting closer. His other hand was behind my neck. Impulsively, I closed my eyes.
I didn't really know how to act, seeing as I'd ever kissed a guy before, but it seemed natural to just kiss him back.
And it felt right.
It was only one kiss, and it didn't last long. I can't describe it. It's for me to remember for the rest of my life. I couldn't stop smiling. At the same time, I couldn't stop the tears rolling down my face.
"I hope those aren't because I'm a bad kisser," remarked DongHae, wiping them away as we sat back against the bed.
I managed to crack a smile. "No... it's just that... well, I'm leaving... and you're going to forget me... but you still-" I was stopped by DongHae as he put a finger over my lips.
"Whoever said I was going to forget you?" he asked innocently.
"You've got a new album, you're gonna get more fans, you're going to be the busiest guy on the planet," I replied. "How are you not going to forget me?"
He looked away and then stood up and pulled me to my feet. "You'd better get home, it's getting late. You'll come and say goodbye, won't you?"
"Of course!" I exclaimed. "I want to say goodbye to everyone!"

We both walked out of the room, and were immediately ambushed by the others.
"JaeHwaaaa!"
"What's going on?"
"You're still soaked!"
"DongHae, you let her stay drenched?!"
"Are you okay, JaeHwa?"
I looked around at them and saw real concern written on all their faces. I already felt sad and I wasn't even close to leaving yet.
"It's nothing... it's just that I'm moving to Japan.."
I was immediately drowned in yells.
"WHAT?!"
"No way!!"
"You gotta be kidding me!"
"NOOOO!" yelled SungMin, eyes screwed shut, clinging to me. He was so adorable, like my personal pet monkey.
KyuHyun looked at me. "Are you serious?" he asked seriously.
I nodded.
He joined SungMin in clinging to me.
"Don't go, JaeHwa sshi!" said KangIn, looking horrified.
"Yea, you can't go!" exclaimed EunHyuk. "What did HyunJae say?!"
HyunJae.
"OH, I haven't even told HyunJae yet!" I exclaimed, feeling horrified. I hadn't even thought of her! I was too busy thinking about other things...
"Don't worry, I'll call her," said SiWon. He pulled out his cellphone. EunHyuk looked at him.
"Why do you have her number?" he asked.
Silence descended over all 14 of us.